
Wow… well… I’m almost speechless. That was pretty atrocious. Anyway, a review…
I try to find something I like in a film I’m reviewing, but this one was hard! To start with, The Faceless Man didn’t seem to know what it was… gangster, revenge, horror, family drama, small-town vigilante, gore fest… it seemed to wander through all of those genres at various points. I honestly think it could be edited in about half a dozen different ways to take out one or more of the story threads and it’d still be just as watchable, but half an hour shorter.
I was trying to think what The Faceless Man reminded me of, and it dawned on me that I was thinking of something like Bad Taste without the comedy, but with better image definition. The acting was poor and the effects were laughable, but Peter Jackson did all right for himself in the end. At least Mr Jackson’s beginnings were over thirty years ago and special effects have come a long way since then, or so I thought; considering how much explicit violence there was I would have thought that they’d have invested a bit more in those areas.
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I think it is summed up at the very end, after the credits, when Sophie Thurling breaks the fourth wall and says, straight into the camera, “Is this a joke?”
Sophie Thurling — someone to keep an eye on (if you have a face)
Incidentally, I started off by saying I try to find something I like, and for me that is the aforementioned Ms Thurling who is in her first feature-length outing. She was, in the main, believable as the cancer sufferer estranged from her father, the coke-addled party girl, the aloof big city snob in a small town, the paranoid victim, and the bewildered survivor… see what I mean about it being over-genred!
For me, The Faceless Man is a D.
Movie Grade: D
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Former teacher, lecturer, homelessness administrator, pharmacy dispenser now happily retired, happily married, and a very happy granddad. I live next to the Mersey but on the side Daniel Craig and Taron Egerton come from rather than the side the Beatles came from!


And now I have the song Eyes Without A Face stuck in my head. But it seems this is about a face without eyes? Or a head without a face?
Since the film sucks and I won’t be seeing it, what is the actual premise?
Trust me, I’m not a Billy Idol fan and I’d rather have that song stuck in my head than this film!
What is the premise? Damned if I can remember and I don’t think I can face watching it again! I do remember that there were a lot of mismatched storylines and it could have been anything really…
HA! That gave me a giggle. Are you sure this isn’t an F film? Maybe an F+? Is it actively or casually bad? Or is this so not worth thinking about that it doesn’t matter…
Also I apologize in advance for one of those Xmas movies. Damn. Unwatchable. I have a low tolerance for Xmas in general, but holy hell. You’ll see what I mean when you get to it.
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