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Return To Splatter Farm is listed on IMDb as a Horror/Thriller. That worries me a bit, as that indicates that the humour wasn’t intentional. I don’t have the benefit of having seen the original to know whether this is intentional or not but, as is well-known, I’m a bit of a grading softy, so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.

As indicated by the title, Return To Splatter Farm is a sequel of sorts. Back in 1987 there was a film called, unsurprisingly, Splatter Farm. I never heard of this film, so I had to do a bit of digging. What I found was that Splatter Farm was one of the first films made by the Polonia twins — Mark and John.

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I Thought That Was A Bad Thing

It turns out that, for years, I thought “straight to video” was automatically a bad thing. If a film was deemed too atrocious to have loads of money spent on distribution, venue hire, and publicity, then it went “straight to video.” They tended to be third or fourth episodes in an adequate, rather than brilliant, series.

However, I’ve just found out that there were some companies who specialised in getting films out to the public in a different way. One of these companies was Donna Michelle Productions, and the way they worked was to put their films out on VHS.

The big advantage of this was that it meant that up and coming independent filmmakers could get their films out. In fact, a lot of them were shot and edited on VHS, so there wasn’t even a conversion cost. Remember, this was when there was a Blockbuster Video in every town, and all the supermarkets and newsagents had a display with videotapes for rent — and they needed product to hire out.

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Tawney Markham

May 15, 2020

Got this back when I was pregnant, but I’ll be keeping it forever, it’s just so handy. I don’t go to the movie theater that often (even back before quarantine when you actually could…) but I make sure the app and the movie list are all current and updated, cause it’s so handy! It’s great for running late cause you can read their summary, obviously awesome for bathroom or snack breaks mid movie, and I also love that it tells you if there’s anything after the credits which is very handy.

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It Was Thirty Three Years Ago Today

So, back in 1987, Splatter Farm rode the VHS crest of a wave, and managed to get seen by a reasonably sized audience. Enough for it to be revisited and a sequel made, which brings us back to Return To Splatter Farm.

Before the film starts there is a dedication card to three of the original cast, which acts as a reminder of the length of time that has passed; they were John Polonia, Todd Smith, and Marion Costly.

And how was the Return To Splatter Farm?

Having checked that the original did aim to have some comedy running through it, I’m happy to think of it as a Horror/Thriller/Comedy. It’s obvious, really, that some of the scenes are played tongue in cheek, and I think it would be pointless to try and deny them. Some of the effects are a bit poor, to the extent you can clearly see how they were done. And, it has to be said, that the acting tended to be a bit spotty but, ultimately, that’s what you look for in a low budget slasher film! Part of the fun is sitting back and thinking, “That looks fun, I could do that.”

Movie Grade: C

Don’t miss your favorite movie moments because you have to pee or need a snack. Use the RunPee app (Androidor iPhone) when you go to the movies. We have Peetimes for all wide release films every week, including Twisters, Fly Me To The Moon, Despicable Me 4, A Quiet Place: Day One, Inside Out 2 and coming soon, Deadpool & Wolverien, Borderlands, Alien: Romulus and many others. We have literally thousands of Peetimes—from classic movies through today’s blockbusters. You can also keep up with movie news and reviews on our blog, or by following us on Twitter @RunPee. If there’s a new film out there, we’ve got your bladder covered.


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