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Movie Review - The Machine

Still from The Machine: a bloodied Bert Kreischer and his father stare out of a train car door in shock

When you're trying to figure out what movie to see this weekend, I have some crucial advice for you. Being a huge Bert Kreischer fan, I was horribly disappointed with The Machine. Don't get me wrong, there was some of his humor but nothing like what I was expecting. The humor is more so in the background. It's mainly about the Russian mob getting their stuff back. The amount of family members involved with their gang gets confusing. At one point, I couldn't tell who the bad guys were and who were the good guys. Come to find out, there weren't any good guys, really.

Overall, it was just too convoluted for my taste. Give me some Bert ripping off his shirt and making fun of his family; that's what I was hoping for.

CNN, BBC One, Vanity Fair, NPR, Today, BuzzFeed
7:42●●● 95%
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On the upside, Kreischer is a good actor. He was fun to watch as was Mark Hamill. He played Albert, Bert's Dad. What a strange, quirky fellow. That was another plus to the movie. I have to be honest here, the movie actually bored me to sleep. I nodded off, luckily, my husband was there to wake me up. I'm sure I'll get some flack about this, but I really don't think The Machine is worth the ticket price.

Grade: D+

Rated:R Some Sexual References, Pervasive Language, Drug Use, Strong Violence
Genres:Action, Comedy
USA release date:May 26, 2023
Movie length:112 minutes
Starring:Mark Hamill, Martyn Ford, Bert Kreischer
Director:Peter Atencio
Writer(s):Kevin Biegel, Scotty Landes
Language:English
Country:United States

Plot
Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.

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