Movie Review – Haunted Mansion

Let me start with: this wasn’t a bad movie.The pacing was fine, maybe a tad longer than it needed to be, but not egregiously so; the acting was more than adequate; the characters were well-defined; and the setting was spot on. But there was one little thing missing: it wasn’t funny. It tried to be funny, but I never came close to laughing, and I never heard anyone else in the theater laugh either. Amusing was about as close as they came to anything funny.

The comedic action was a little lacking. I’m thinking specifically of the scene where Ben and Travis try to leave and the ceiling retreats upward with the alligators, somehow crawling up the walls behind them. It felt like a Disney ride, as in, when will this be over, kind of ride.

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What we all wanted was a Pirates of the Caribbean kind of experience. That was memorable and it was funny. This movie will be forgotten in a few weeks.

Audience

I’m not really sure who this movie is made for. It’s not really a kid’s movie. Although, I suppose if you love horror movies and you have a kid that you would like to introduce to the genre, then this would be tame enough. It’s not funny or scary enough to be entertaining to adults. Maybe it’s for hard-core Disney fans who loved the haunted mansion. And speaking of which, were there no slots open around Halloween to release this movie? This is a Disney movie, they can release it whenever they want; midsummer feels weird for this movie.

The movie genres are listed as: Comedy, Drama, and Family. Family, I can barely see it. There’s a very small aspect of family building that is more hinted at than used as a plot point. I’ve already mentioned that the movie wasn’t funny, so it’s not a comedy. And as for Drama: there was never a moment of suspense. This isn’t the kind of movie where characters die, and you know it. There was zero drama.

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A wasted use of a Leto

Why on earth was Jared Leto cast as the villain Crump? I could have watched this movie five times and I never would have guessed that Crump was played by Leto. I suppose they used motion capture to render the character, but I can’t see Leto under the CGI at all. They could have picked any random actor who would have been just fine. If you’re going to have Leto in your movie then give him something to work with.

Grade: C

About The Peetimes: All of the Peetimes are good. I think the last one is the best. It’s a long silly action scene that really doesn’t amount to anything.

There are extras during, or after, the end credits of Haunted Mansion.

Plot
A single mom named Gabbie hires a tour guide, a psychic, a priest and a historian to help exorcise her newly bought mansion after discovering it is inhabited by ghosts.

[category ][status draft] [tags movie review,Comedy, Drama, Family]