Movie Review – Gretel & Hansel

Be advised, I, RunPee Mom, usually don’t do horror movies. That distinction belongs to RunPee Sis — however, she flaked out on me last night. So the task (one might even call it a burden in this case) fell to me. I’ll do my best to grade  Gretel & Hansel according to the target audience.

I would describe Gretel & Hansel as Kafkaesque. Some scenes made absolutely no sense to me. The movie was peppered with bizarre landscapes and interesting camera angles. The actors certainly did a fine job with their roles, even if I couldn’t understand the dialog, which often times was delivered in unintelligible whispers…and the Witch’s delivery was impaired with a funky accent and dramatic dialog that trailed off to a whisper.

The story veered away from the children’s book to a place that was dark in plot and physically dark. For some movies this works, but in G&H, this only added to the confusion of what this film was about.

The World’s Most Indispensable Movie App

The RunPee app tells you the best times to
run & pee during a movie
so you don't miss the best scenes.

As seen on

Download the RunPee app.
100% free (donation supported)

     

Read more about the RunPee app.

There was an interesting artistic flair to G&H which made me not hate this flick, but it wasn’t enough to make me walk out of the theater with a smile on my face, and a lightness in my heart. Nope; that didn’t happen. It left me thinking that I couldn’t wait for the sun to come up tomorrow.

Grade: D+

About The Peetimes: This was a difficult movie for Peetimes. The dialog in this movie was largely unintelligible. The actors constantly mumbled and whispered. I tried to be as correct as I could with my interpretation of what was being said. Thanks for understanding.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Gretel & Hansel. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (PG-13) for disturbing images/thematic content, and brief drug material
Genres: Fantasy, Horror, Thriller

RunPee Mom

RunPee Mom is our emotional bedrock. Without her, RunPee never would have lasted a decade as an app (which is since the dawn of time in internet years). She’s our biggest cheerleader and an unending source of unconditional love. She works cheerfully and tirelessly, seeing any movie we ask of her, writing interesting reviews, and being our…well…MOM. Her genres of choice: kiddie flicks, animated movies, emotional dramas, historical features, war films, diverse biographies, and even dense, diabolically plotted thrillers. She knows more about famous and infamous figures in history than said figures probably knew about themselves. She’s the Quiz Manager for the RunPee.com blog, and our resident movie celebrity/trivia expert. If you’ve taken a RunPee Quiz, you’ve most likely been given a virtual hug by RunPee Mom.