Writing reviews for C-grade movies is the worst. There’s not much to praise, because, obviously. And there’s not much to hate on, because it wasn’t gawd-aweful. It’s basically the Big Mac of food. It will fill you up if you’re hungry for that sort of thing, but later, you sort of wish you hadn’t eaten it.

How Was Ana de Armas?

There are a lot of John Wick fans, and there are a lot of Ana de Armas fans, and everyone’s wondering how Ana will pull off the John Wick style of action. I have to say, not bad. I mean, if John Wick hadn’t set the bar 11 years ago—yes, it’s been that long—then there would probably be some rave reviews for Ana’s work in this movie. But now it’s impossible not to compare her to Keanu, and that’s just not fair.

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My biggest complaint about the movie is that Eve (Ana de Armas’ character) gets brutalized way too many times. To be fair, you can say that about every John Wick movie, but there’s more of a point to show that Wick is injured and won’t stop. They tried to give Ana that won’t stop attitude but I’m not buying it. Sure, she gets stabbed and continues on, but it’s the body blows that do it for me. Too many times in the movie she gets kicked or kneed in the torso and that means broken ribs.

Not a knock on Ana, but the fight choreography is too similar to all of the other John Wick movies, even after they made a point in her training to fight like a girl. Does that mean John Wick fights like a girl? Because their styles are similar. I wish they had made more of a point to show Ana creatively avoiding contact while fighting from a distance so that she can’t be injured.

And the fight scenes dragged on way too long, which is honestly something that could be said of all the John Wick movies, we only didn’t mind it so much for the first one, but it’s gotten harder and harder for them to keep one-upping themselves, even though they try. I wish they could understand that quantity does not matter as much as quality. There’s just way too many fight scenes that are just like the previous 10 fight scenes in this very movie. I seriously looked at my timer with 1h 40m into the movie and thought, crap, 20 more minutes of this.

The Plot

I don’t have insider knowledge at Lionsgate studios, so I don’t know how this movie got greenlit, but my guess is that some studio executive assigned writers to come up with a John Wick spinoff that keeps the universe going and introduces someone fresh who can carry on the franchise. Anytime a writer is assigned to write something, it’s going to be hard for them to do anything other than mix some tropes together with the established universe/mythology. That’s about what Ballerina is, a mix of the same old thing.

The revenge thriller formula isn’t broken, but Ballerina doesn’t bring anything new to the table. Compare this to how Atomic Blonde took similar elements but created something distinctly different, or how The Villainess brought genuine innovation to female-led action.

The Acting

How do I put this? Um, there wasn’t much acting to be had so it’s hard to judge. No one in this movie acts like a real person would. There’s no drama other than the girl who played the young Eve. Ana de Armas just basically looked pissed or determined, and there wasn’t much else. This is a knock on the directing and writing, not her acting.

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For me, the highlight of the movie was seeing in the credits that

Behind the Camera

Director Chad Stahelski knows this universe better than anyone, having helmed every John Wick film. That expertise shows in the polished action sequences, but it also reveals a director playing it too safe. Writer Shay Hatten, who co-wrote the last two Wick films, delivers exactly what you’d expect, which is part of the problem.

The Writing

I’m not going to fault the writers too much because this movie felt like they treated it as homework and just wanted to get it over with. Mission accomplished. You wrote a movie, they filmed it, I’m sure the writers got paid, and will call this a success. But there is zero in this movie to be proud of.

What’s frustrating is that Ana de Armas has the screen presence to anchor her own action franchise. Instead of creating something new, the writers trapped her in John Wick cosplay. Imagine if they’d built around her strengths rather than forcing her into Keanu’s mold.

The original John Wick movie had real scenes with characters, mostly Keanu, acting like a real person. When he’s laying there on the floor, bloody as hell, next to his dead dog and he reaches out and touches the dog and then pulls back. Man, that is great writing/acting/directing. It’s touching to the core.

And then later in the movie, when John in tied up and he gives his, “I’m back” speech, I remember clear as day thinking, “Wow, Keanu is acting and acting well.”

Ballerina doesn’t have anything remotely in the ballpark of those scenes. Zero. I really wonder how many times the director said to Ana, “Okay, in this scene, I want you to look really determined.” There was no nuance to this role and that’s a waste of a good actress.

Grade: C

More like this, but better

If you’re craving better female-led action, try Atomic Blonde, The Villainess, or Gunpowder Milkshake. For Ana de Armas specifically, her brief but memorable action sequences in No Time to Die show what she’s capable of with better material.

About The Peetimes: All of the Peetimes are decent and don’t involve any action other than some training.

The last Peetime is the best and it’s the last break before the climactic action begins.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Ballerina.

Plot
An assassin trained in the traditions of the Ruska Roma organization sets out to seek revenge after her father’s death.