Movie Review – Playmobil: The Movie

Movie Review - Playmobil: The Movie I’m thinking the little tykes from ages 2 to 6 will enjoy this movie. My great granddaughter, age 6, has been an avid watcher of the Playmobil videos on YouTube for several years. I honestly think children older than 7 or 8 will be bored with this simple animated film.

I found the movie irritating, frenetic, and loud. So loud. Most parents will feel the same way, plus there’s no adult humor for us to snicker about, like we see in the fine Lego movies.

I’m sure there is some sort of plot, and maybe even a message to kids in there somewhere, but the dialog was so unintelligible that one can only guess what it was.

An average grade of C is the best I can give Playmobil: The Movie.

Grade: C

About The Peetimes: As with most animated films, this gave me several opportunities to get good Peetimes. Both are of equal length, so let your little one’s bladder decide which to use.

There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Playmobil: The Movie. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (PG) not available
Genres: Adventure, Animation, Comedy, Family

Movie Review – The LEGO Movie

Movie Review – The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

Are the Four Lego Movies Sequels or Prequel Films?

The 5 Best and Worst Films of Tom Hanks

A Beautiful Day in the NeighbourhoodThere’s something so satisfying about the idea of Tom Hanks playing children’s TV show host Mr. Rogers in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.  Who can resist one of America’s favorite actors playing one of America’s most beloved TV icons?  And I know Mr. Rogers was beloved because every time the preview for Won’t You Be My Neighbor played at the local art house theater last year, it got applause.  In honor of Hanks’ latest performance and a possible sixth Oscar nomination, here’s a look back at some of his best and worst films.

Tom Hanks 5 Best Movies

Tom Hanks has such a plethora of great films, it was hard to whittle it down to just five.  His IMDb page is an embarrassment of riches.  I encourage you to explore his filmography.

1. Philadelphia

PhiladelphiaTom Hanks won Best Actor for his role as a man with HIV suing his law firm for wrongful dismissal.  Antonio Banderas plays his partner.  Denzel Washington plays his attorney in a powerful performance.  Hanks gave a memorable acceptance speech, thanking his gay high school drama teacher.  The movie was groundbreaking at the time for not only having a gay main character but casting an A-list actor in the role.  It was also one of the first mainstream films to take on the topic of HIV.

2. Forrest Gump

One year later, Hanks won his second Oscar for playing the dim but big-hearted title character who was always at the right place at the right time throughout the twentieth century.  He is one of the few actors to win back-to-back Oscars.  (Others include: Luise Rainer, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, and Jason Robards.)  Forrest’s famous quote from this movie is, “Life is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you’re going to get.”  This is probably the movie Tom Hanks is most famous for.  The film spawned a popular soundtrack and even a chain of restaurants named Bubba Gump’s.

3. The Green  Mile

The Green  MileEveryone knows The Shawshank Redemption.  This is director Frank Darabont’s other Stephen King adapted prison movie.  Hanks plays a compassionate death row corrections officer in this Best Picture nominee.  He and the other guards face a moral dilemma when accused child murderer John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan) displays extraordinary supernatural gifts.  This is one of my favorite movies of the ’90s.  The entire cast is amazing.  It features one of Sam Rockwell’s great early performances.  I think about Tom Hanks and Graham Greene’s discussion about the afterlife all the time.

4. Big

Hanks got his first Oscar nomination for this performance.  His character is a boy who makes a wish to be big and wakes up in the body of a grown man.  (A little bit like Shazam.)  Hanks’s performance as a man-child is endearing, as he takes on the joys and burdens of adulthood.  The film features a famous scene where he and his boss play “Chopsticks” by dancing on a giant toy piano.  Hanks started out doing comedies in the ’80s.  This is a great place to start if you’ve never seen anything from his early career.

5. Cast Away

Cast AwayHanks got his fifth Oscar nomination for this Robert Zemeckis film.  When his plane crashes over the Pacific Ocean during a storm, Hanks is the only survivor.  He makes it ashore to a deserted island where he must learn how to survive on his own.  The description may not grab you, but I assure you the movie will.  I have watched people get sucked into this film while watching it on display televisions in stores.  Somehow Zemeckis manages to weave a spell over you.  And he does it with a movie that has hardly any dialogue.

Tom Hanks’ 5 Worst Movies

Every actor has their share of missteps and Hanks has some doozies.

1. The Bonfire of the Vanities

The Bonfire of the Vanities

What do you get when  you put Tom Hanks, Bruce Willis, and Melanie Griffith in an adaptation of a Tom Wolfe novel?  Pure dreck.  This is generally considered one of the worst movies of the ’90s.  Hanks is miscast as an unlikable character.  The power of Wolfe’s writing is lost in its transition to the screen.

2. Punchline

PunchlineWho wants to watch a movie about stand-up comedians that isn’t funny?  Hanks plays a young comic who helps a housewife (Sally Fields) develop her stage act.  I tried to watch this movie several times in the ’80s and could never get through it.  I was used to seeing Tom Hanks kiss mermaids and solve crimes with dogs.  Nothing nearly as exciting happens in this movie.  The punchline is there are no jokes in this film.

3. The Da Vinci Code

The Da Vinci CodeOne of the best-selling novels of  all-time, one of the most protested movies ever is also…a total snooze fest.  Not even Hanks’ charm or a controversial plot twist can save this so-so thriller.  Things pick up a little when Ian McKellen finally shows up.

4. The Ladykillers

The LadykillersThis is one of the Coen Brothers’ worst films.  Hanks plays an eccentric Southern professor whose gang is posing as musicians in order to rob a casino.  They practice in the basement of his landlady’s home.  I’ve already forgotten most of this forgettable film.  But I’m still haunted by Hanks’ odd performance.

5. Cloud Atlas

Cloud AtlasWhat can I say about Cloud Atlas?  As a friend of mine likes to say, it’s a lot of what it is.  Nearly three hours to be exact.  It’s a movie I want to like.  But I’m not sure I want to put in the mental work and repeated viewings required to do so.  The Matrix, it’s not.  The movie deals with reincarnation and how our actions ripple through time to affect others.  Hanks, Halle Berry, and others play multiple characters across multiple storylines.  It requires a lot of concentration to keep up with everything.  And that’s before the post-apocalyptic people start talking like five-year-olds (“Tell me the true true.”)

Don’t miss the best parts of your favorite movies.  Use the RunPee app every time you go to the movie theater.  We add new movies weekly.  And we always have the latest Peetimes for movies such as Midway, Doctor Sleep, Playing With Fire, and many more.  You can also keep up with the latest movie news and reviews by following us on Twitter @RunPee and liking us on Facebook (www.facebook.com/RunPee/).

Virgin Movie Review – Sully

Movie review: Cloud Atlas

A Happy Shazam Review – A delightful time in the DC universe (for once)

 

Movie Review – Midway

Movie Review - MidwaySorry to say: this movie doesn’t live up to the true events it attempts to depict. Unless you feel you must see the battle events on the big screen, this movie is better suited to DVD/streaming…in 2 or 3 months when it’s available.

To be sure, there’s plenty of explosions, bombs dropping, explosions, aerial dog fights, explosions, plane crashes, explosions,… 😉 That aspect of the movie doesn’t fail, except that it honestly gets a little redundant. (I wonder how many minutes of the movie were focused on closeups of Dick Best as he dive bombed — too many for sure.)

Where the movie falls short of it’s target, is in character development. And I mean all of it. There wasn’t a single character that had any sort of depth.

MIDWAY: between a bad movie and a horrible movie.Historically, I know the US Navy winning the Battle of Midway wasn’t just one miracle, it was several miracles. In the movie they tell us that, but we never really feel it. The story just doesn’t connect the dots in the way it should have. I’m not saying this is easy, but with a budget like this movie had there’s no excuse for not having a better script.

Grade: D+

About The Peetimes: I managed to find 4 good Peetimes and would recommend the 3rd one. There are no battle scenes in any of the Peetimes.

There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Midway. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (PG-13) for sequences of war violence and related images, language and smoking
Genres: Action, Drama, History

Movie Review – Motherless Brooklyn

 

Movie Review - Motherless BrooklynIt seems clear a lot of critics like this movie. I’ll go along with this to an extent — it’s clearly a labor of love for Edward Norton, who not only managed every aspect of the film and starred in it, but did some excellent research on the mental illness of Tourette’s Syndrome.

One of my early jobs involved working with the mentally ill, including those with Tourette’s, and Norton hit all the right notes. His character was whip-smart in spite of his disability. Lionel was aware of his affliction and apologized for his inappropriate outbursts. That his crew called him “Freakshow” was just a sign of the times in the 1950s, where it was acceptable to be casually cruel. It also served to underline the love between Frank (Bruce Willis’s character) and Lionel. Frank called the orphan under his wing “Brooklyn” — a much more affectionate term.

The Good Stuff

The historical period setting looked great too, although I’m not a fan of washed out bland palettes blended with noir. This was by no means a pretty film — and not intended to be — but two and a half hours of gritty, dreary grayness grated on my nerves.

What else can I add? Motherless Brooklyn was well-acted by everyone (although Alec Baldwin leaned a bit heavy on his SNL Trump act), well-written, and about a topic that absolutely bears both scrutiny and a relevance for our time.

It sounds like a great film, right?

Except. Except, yes, I was bored silly. I’m starting to find drama films less appealing than horror, and for me that’s saying a lot. I have a degree in Conservation Biology and am a staunch Humanist, so I feel deeply about the routine abuse of our peoples and planet by those in power. But I don’t want to wallow in a movie about it. I want my entertainment choices to lift me up, not drown me in despair.

If you want to feel sad about humanity’s mistreatment of marginalized people, this film will be right up your alley.

A fun time at the theater, it most certainly is not.

Grade: B-

About The Peetimes: I’ve got 3 Peetimes pretty well spaced out. The 1st and 2nd are really good, and the 3rd is your last chance to go before the final hour.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Motherless Brooklyn. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for language throughout including some sexual references, brief drug use, and violence
Genres: Crime, Drama, Noir

Movie Review – The Lighthouse

 

Movie Review - The LighthouseIt’s no secret I have issues with A24 productions. I have seen them all. I go in with an open mind — and every time but twice I’ve hated them. Spring Breakers and Tusk get a free pass; those entertained me.

When I saw the trailers for The Lighthouse, I was excited. It looked to be right up my alley — great cast, and the setting was set at what I’d call one of my happy places. (I’m a lighthouse lover.) Then in big letters I see it…A24 Productions. I internally groaned and thought to myself that just maybe I’d still like it, because what could go wrong with such a great concept?

I’m still laughing about how wrong I was.

I gave ‘It Comes at Night’ a scathing review, and had a lot of backlash from users on how badly I trashed it. I tried explaining to them that a review is a singular person’s thought on a movie. My opinion. Their opinion was different and that’s totally okay. So here it goes, enter my opinion, stage left.

I did not like this movie. At all. It has taken my number one spot of the worst movie ever made. It made my head hurt and I can still hear the blasted foghorn.

For starters, I couldn’t understand them. The accents used were so over the top that all I heard was gibberish. Enough said there.

My next complaint: the over-used masturbation scenes. Seriously? How many times did we need to see them doing this? Apparently a lot, because there are too many of those scenes. I’m a jaded person; I think I’ve seen every gross thing to come out of Hollywood, and never cringed the way I did last night. I felt dirty watching it and trust me, I’m not a prude. My blood pressure is starting to rise again.

I could pick this movie apart like a turkey on Thanksgiving, but I’m going to stop here. I conveyed my feelings well enough, I think. It was simply dreadful.

Thanks A24 for finally settling an ongoing internal battle. You will never lure me in again. Shout out to my boss — my wonderful brother — there isn’t enough money to get me to do another A24. I’m done.

Grade: F-

About The Peetimes: I have two Peetimes at 29 and 51 minutes. The middle Peetime is a very short ‘Alert Peetime’ containing graphic animal cruelty to a bird.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of The Lighthouse. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for sexual content, nudity, violence, disturbing images, and some language
Genres: Drama, Fantasy, Horror

Movie Review – Joker

 

Movie Review - JokerI have a feeling a lot of people will really like this Joker movie. Personally, I don’t understand how this film can even come close to the MCU and their best films. It’s not funny at all, like EVER, and doesn’t involve any of the Justice League members. I have to admit that we’ve had a lot of Jokers over the years that don’t give us much fun. I don’t even think I like any of the Jokers we’ve seen, except maybe Mark Hamill as the Joker in the animated Batman TV series.

Sometimes going back to the well works. I mean, look at Tom Holland against all the Spider-Men we’ve had in the last decade. We finally got a great one! Holland’s beloved, with good reason, after the other Spideys that had both great and awful qualities in the end. Which is a whole other conversation.

Another comparison: by Thor: Ragarok, Marvel finally figured how to handle The Mighty Thor (with great comedic timing). Right? This improved the entire MCU and gave Chris Hemsworth a new lease on super life.

So, what is the deal with the DC comics not being able to make consistently enjoyable films? The studio is all over the place, and fans aren’t sure what to expect. How does a delightful outing like Shazam fit in with the gritty Batman trilogy? And do all these Jokers fit within one continuity? I think we have to accept they don’t.

I’m looking forward to seeing James Gunn’s work on Suicide Squad 2 and hopefully, he’ll make it as amusing as Guardians of the Galaxy. But don’t expect Joker to be amusing at all. This film feels more like Logan , the X-Men standalone, (to which we gave an A+) than anything else. Or at least maybe that’s what this film tried to be. Joker is depressing, and deep, but filmed well, with a lot of care to the details.

Do you want a superhero/super-villains film? If you’re a huge Joker fan, I don’t think this is your film.  It just has nothing “super” in it. Really. It’s a dramatic movie, very traumatic, and more than a bit weird.

I initially gave Joker a C+, but today I upgraded it to a B-, for being a good drama that spins an unusual take on the iconic Joker role.

K, thx. Can we stop rebooting Jokers for a while now?

Grade: B-

About The Peetimes: There is a lot of plot and character development here, making it hard to get Peetimes as the events unfold. I recommend the 2nd Peetime for a nice long break. Try to use it proactively in this 2 hour movie.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Joker. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for strong bloody violence, disturbing behavior, language and brief sexual images
Genres: Crime, Drama, Thriller, DC

Guardians of the Galaxy Ex-Director James Gunn to Direct Suicide Squad 2

Best Superhero Movies That Were Never Made

Best Superhero Movies That Were Never Made

Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker

Todd Philips’ controversial new film Joker opens this week.  It’s kind of amazing that a character piece with no connection to the DC Universe and no Batman in sight got the green light.  Many other movies aren’t so lucky.  Even movies with major talent attached to them.  Here’s a look at some superhero movies that were never made.

Superman Movies That Were Scrapped:

Christopher McQuarrie’s Man of Steel sequel

In July, the writer-director of Mission: Impossible-Fallout revealed on Twitter that he had pitched a Man of Steel sequel idea that would have tied in to a Green Lantern movie proposal.  Ultimately, Warner Brothers rejected both ideas.  McQuarrie did not give specifics of the plot of either film.

Matthew Vaughn’s Superman trilogy

The Kingsman director and comics creator Mark Millar pitched a Superman trilogy where the entire first film would have taken place on Krypton.  Superman would have grown up on Krypton, a change to his origin story, “maturing into an adult before having to reckon with his loyalty to both planets,” as Vaughn told Polygon.  This sounds like it could have really been epic.  I wish he’d reveal what his plans for the other two films were.

Superman: Flyby

J. J. Abrams wrote this Superman origin story that would have seen the hero fighting against new villain Ty-Zor, his Kryptonian cousin.  McG and Brett Ratner were each attached to direct the project at one point.  Warner Brothers ended up going with Superman Returns instead.

I want this sequel so bad!

Superman Returns sequel

Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns didn’t make enough money at the box office to revive the franchise.  He has hinted that a sequel would have been more action-oriented and might have featured the villain Brainiac.  This is the one that stings for me.  It always pulls at my heartstrings that SPOILER ALERT Superman has a son.  I really wanted a sequel to explore that concept in depth.  I remember watching Superman Returns with my friend Robert and both of us getting emotional during the scene where Superman watches his son sleeping.  This will always be one of the great unmade sequels for me.

Nic named his son Kal-El.

Superman Lives

This is the most famous unmade Superman film.  Tim Burton was attached to direct.  Nicholas Cage was going to play Superman.  Kevin Smith wrote a draft of the script.  There’s even a documentary about it titled The Death of “Superman Lives”:  What Happened?  The movie would have featured villains Lex Luthor, Brainiac, and Doomsday.  “The Death of Superman” story line from the comics was part of the movie’s inspiration.  After seeing what Tim Burton did with Batman, one can’t help but wonder what his Superman would have been like.

 

Spider-Man Sequels We’ll Never Get to See:

I know, I know.  Spidey’s a sore subject ever since the Sony/Marvel split.  But the truth is that Spider-Man’s been breaking our hearts for a while with expected sequels that never made it out of the gate.

Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man

Casting rumors indicate that John Malkovich would have played the Vulture and Anne Hathaway would have played the Black Cat in this sequel.  Concept art indicates that villain Mysterio would have put in at least a cameo appearance.  Screenwriter James Vanderbilt was hired to write out plot lines for Spider-Man 5 and 6.  The exact reasons this sequel never came together aren’t completely clear.  Raimi takes responsibility and says he couldn’t deliver a quality film by the release date and didn’t want to disappoint the fans.  Adding insult to injury is the fact that we never got to see Dylan Baker’s version of the Lizard.

The Amazing Spider-Man 3

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 ends with a cut scene that teases an awesome sequel.  It sets up a group of fan favorite villains called The Sinister Six which Spider-Man would have faced in the next movie.  Sadly, writer-director Drew Goddard never got to bring his vision to the screen though there are rumors it could still happen.

 

Batman Movies That Didn’t Happen:

Ivan Reitman’s Batman

The Ghostbusters director once had his eye on a 1960s-themed Batman project.  And the casting for this one is insane.  Bill Murray would have played Batman.  Eddie Murphy would have been Robin.  And David Bowie would have played the Joker.  (Aren’t you dying to see that?)  Fortunately, this movie fell apart, paving the way for Tim Burton’s Batman.

Robin Williams would have been amazing!

Batman Continues

If Tim Burton had made a third Batman film, Marlon Wayans would have played Robin and Robin Williams would have been the Riddler.  It would have set up a spinoff film for Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman as well.  As much as I like Batman Forever, I wish Burton could have completed his trilogy.

Batman Unchained

This would have been Joel Schumacher’s follow up to Batman and Robin.  Schumacher’s third Batman film, the fifth in the series, would have seen The Scarecrow and Harley Quinn make their first appearances on the big screen.  Batman and Robin also would have split up suggesting some of the darker storytelling associated more with Burton  than Schumacher.

 

Other Comic Book Movies That Never Made It To the Big Screen:

Would Armie Hammer have made a good Batman?

Justice League: Mortal

Before Zack Snyder’s Justice League movie came to fruition, Mad Max director George Miller was slated to direct this project in 2008.  The movie would have starred Armie Hammer as Batman, D.J. Catrona as Superman, Adam Brody and Anton Yelchin as dual Flashes, and Common as Green Lantern.  A high budget and a writer’s strike led to the movie being cancelled.

Still coming to a theater near you?

Doctor Doom

Fox hired Noah Hawley (creator of TV shows Fargo and Legion) to write a movie about Fantastic Four villain Doctor Doom.  Hawley has described his script as being an antihero story and a political thriller in the vein of Captain America: Winter Soldier.  The movie is largely considered dead after the Disney-Fox merger, however there is still some hope that Marvel may make the film at some point.  Especially now that they have plans to revive the Fantastic Four.

Someday, I will get my Silver Surfer movie. Someday.

The Silver Surfer

Speaking of Fantastic Four characters, comic book writer Brian K. Vaughn was hired to write a script for a stand-alone Silver Surfer script.  This was about two years before the Disney-Fox merger.  This secretive project is probably DOA as most of Fox’s comic book projects have been under the merger.  There is no word on whether actor Doug Jones would have reprised his role from the Fantastic Four sequel.

Green Lantern 2

Ryan Reynolds starred in The Green Lantern in 2011.  A sequel was written that focused on Sinestro becoming evil.  The first movie was a box office failure and plans for a sequel were scrapped.  Reynolds made fun of Green Lantern’s poor box office performance in the more popular movie Deadpool.

Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman

Before the Allan Heinberg script that became Patty Jenkins’ vision, Joss Whedon wrote an unproduced Wonder Woman script in the early 2000s.  It was recently leaked to the internet and has faced a lot of criticism for being sexist and focusing too much on Steve Trevor instead of Wonder Woman, even going so far as to make him the main character.  Whedon recently quit the Batgirl movie without completing a script, leaving it in limbo.  Which makes it another movie we may not get to see or at least not for a long time.

Make this movie, Hollywood!

Green Arrow: Escape From Super Max

I saved one of the best for last.  This one is cool as hell and I wish they would make it.  Framed for an assassination, Green Arrow has to partner with famous DC villains to break out of prison.  Doesn’t that sound awesome?  Cinema Blend has speculated that this would be an excellent script to transition the Arrow TV series into films.

What is your superpower?

Ours is never missing the good parts of a movie.  Remember to take the RunPee app with you every time you go to the movies.  We always have Peetimes for the newest movies.  And you can get the latest movie news and reviews by following us on Twitter @RunPee and liking us on Facebook (www.facebook.com/RunPee/).

Movie Review – The Good Dinosaur (and The Pixar Theory)

the-good-dinosaur-poster
He’s really only an okay dinosaur.

Okay, yeah, this Pixar film was pretty, but not as pretty as Disney’s  The Lion King, which it also managed to…ahem…totally rip off. It’s also very reminiscent of Dreamwork’s initial Toothless scenes in How to Train Your Dragon.

It’s got some cute moments, and an interesting take on the feral dog boy. He’s a hoot, and seems smarter and more useful than Arlo, the useless titular young Apatosaur.

And from time to time, the story gives us some insight about how dinosaurs might have evolved culturally if that meteor skipped Earth entirely. But I didn’t really buy it. The world-building wasn’t there. This ended up being a buddy travel movie. There was some cleverness, but not up to the level I expect from a Pixar classic.

Why You Should See The Good Dinosaur Anyway

The only reason I saw The Good Dinosaur:  I watched a bunch of videos on The Pixar Theory, and the Cretaceous Era is kind of where the possibly interlinked overarcing story begins. So I found a copy of The Good Dinosaur (and it’s on Netflix right now, so catch it before Disney Plus steals it for their own private channel). I played it while cleaning my room (it’s not gripping enough to really sit and watch, no matter how amusing Sam Elliot is as a T-Rex herding longhorns).

By the way, The Good Dinosaur is an awful name for for movie. Did the producers really not care at all? What does that even mean?

The movie is mostly just sweet. Not bad. In fact, it’s slightly better than average. But I expect far better from Pixar.

For the first time, I’ll give a movie two grades, depending on how savvy and discerning you are in the animation genre.

Movie Grade for adults: C+

Movie Grade for Kiddoes: B (Gentle film, gentle humor, and hey, it only might make you cry.)

The Lion King – Rewatch Review of the Animated Classic

Movie Review – How to Train Your Dragon (No Spoilers)

Pixar Fast Fact Video – Easter Eggs in Incredibles 2

 

Movie Review – 47 Meters Down: Uncaged

Movie Review - 47 Meters Down: UncagedI watched a lot of shark movies recently to get excited for 47 Meters Down 2. Almost all of them were a good time. Plus, I really liked the original 47 Meters Down. But this sequel is dreadful.

I can’t even begin to tell you just how bad this movie is.

Basically, the undersea premise could have been a grand adventure — an Indiana Jones type film with blind albino cave sharks, patrolling an ancient submerged city, full of secrets and buried treasure.

Instead, 47 Meters Down 2 is  just dumb. Boring. Mindless and stupefying. It’s frequently so dark and murky underwater that it’s hard to see the action. The main redeeming feature: it was short. Why did this movie happen? Who thought this was a good idea? WHY WHY WHY WTF…arg.

Yeah. I think it’s the worst flick I’ve seen in years. (And I watch a lot of movies for RunPee.) 47 Meters Down: Uncaged doesn’t even rate a “so bad it’s good” epithet. It’s not that clever. (Here’s how to do a good ‘bad’ shark movie.)

I’ll make an effort to review this rotten film in more detail later (maybe), but with any luck it won’t matter, since you won’t see it anyway.

More Detail, Barely:

47 meters down 2 uncaged fishbait meme
Fixed it.

In an effort to add more information to this review, I’ll add that there’s zero relationship with the original 47 Meters premise or characters.  47 2 is a meager attempt to launch a shark film franchise out of too little meat. The undersea city concept could have been so cool. What a shame.

The producers should have just named the film Fish Bait and swam far, far away…

Seriously. PASS.

Grade: D-

About The Peetimes: This is a short movie with a lot of action. I have 1 good Peetimes early on, and 1 good for Emergencies later. Since there’s nothing during the credits, you can run out as soon as the credits roll.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of 47 Meters Down: Uncaged. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (PG-13) for creature related violence and terror, some bloody images and brief rude gestures
Genres: Adventure, Drama, Horror

Pro-Tip — SEE ANY OF THESE SHARK MOVIES INSTEAD: 

First-View Movie Review – 47 Meters Down (2017)

Deep Blue Sea – First View Movie Review (With YouTube Clips)

The Shallows – First View Movie Review (2016)

Movie Rewatch – Jaws – Still A Fantastic Blockbuster

First View Movie Review – Jaws 2

Movie Review – The Meg

Newie Review – The Reef – Low Budget, Decent, Non Campy Shark Movie

Preview Movie Review – Bad CGI Sharks

Movie Review – Bethany Hamilton: Unstoppable

Movie Review – Anna

Movie Review - AnnaIt appears that Luc Besson has fallen into the trap that has been the downfall of many a director; if it worked before, they’ll do it again, and oftentimes the end result is a disaster.

Anna is not a disaster of a movie: the pacing was well done; but the writing, acting, and directing was a disappointment. Helen Mirren’s role as a Russian spy was almost comically performed by this award-winning actor. Nothing about the character was believable, and the Russian accent sounded like a parody of itself. The rest of the cast also gave sub-par performances; however none of them would be considered ‘award winning’ actors, so I didn’t hold them to the same standards I’d set for Ms. Mirren.

A few minutes into the movie I realized I’d seen this before, except with the title “La Femme Nikita”, another spy movie, written by Luc Besson. Oh, and the movie Point of No Return, the American version starring Bridget Fonda, was also written by Besson. La Femme was an extraordinary movie, Point of No Return was acceptable…but Anna fell short.

The biggest problem I had with Anna were the flashbacks, and flash forwards. It was a bit like a Christopher Nolan movie, where time is not linear — a bit irritating, and sometimes, a bit confusing. Also, the incredulous fight scenes (of which there are many) where Anna kicks the butts of a gang of nefarious men wearing outfits straight out of Victoria’s Secret (with stilettos) was way over the top. Each fight scene looked more like something out of a Stephen Seagal movie.

I didn’t hate Anna, but my recommendation is to wait for the DVD.

Grade: C+

About The Peetimes: This was a hard action movie with only a few breaks from the chaos, making it just a little difficult to get good Peetimes. I was able to include an Emergency Peetime coming near the end of the movie.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Anna. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for strong violence, language, and some sexual content
Genres: Action, Thriller