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Gold Bond to replace James Bond in No Time for this Movie

gold-bond-powder-bottle
Bond. Gold Bond.

In a surprise move that shouldn’t have been so surprising, the final Daniel Craig James Bond film No Time to Die has been renamed No Time For This Movie, and James himself has been written out. A quick replacement character, his brother Gold, will appear in the film this Fall.

A year ago, No Time to Die was the first blockbuster to postpone their movie when it became clear the pandemic wasn’t going away in a couple of weeks. After subsequently changing the release date on No Time to Die three times, the studio reportedly ‘gave up,’ saying, “We couldn’t be bothered anymore.”

In an official press release, producers at EON Productions Limited wrote: “Some of us wondered if it had to do with putting Die in yet another James Bond title, which is basically asking for trouble. We asked a Magic 8 Ball if DIE was an omen, and it said ‘Signs point to yes.’ So that was that.
“While the term Die has been in four Bond movie titles, Gold has been used more than once too — Goldfinger, The Man with the Golden Gun, Goldeneye — so it has a legacy and sounds a lot more optimistic.
“The new Gold Bond is soothing and just itching to make your acquaintance. He’ll be all over you.”

Daniel Craig, when confronted directly about this radical movie change, only said, “I’m British. Never heard of Gold Bond. Can I go now?”

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Gold Bond: No Time For This Movie might be shown in theaters some day. Maybe on streaming instead. Or the whole thing might be entirely scrapped: no one knows anything in Hollywood these days. 

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Nprtykty, 03/28/2021

Brilliant idea with great information

I’ve been using RunPee for a few years now and it’s basically a requirement of going to the movies for me. The best part of course are the “pee times” that give you cues, synopses and times for when you can pee without missing the most important parts of the movie. There is also information about the credits- length, extras and if there are any extra scenes at the wayyy end. Super helpful to just know that it is or isn’t worth staying. There is a timer function that will buzz your phone when it’s a good time to pee. I also appreciate that the app is very conscientious about it being an app you use in a theater- dark background, all silent alarms etc. I will always enjoy the experience of the theater even if I could watch things at home- but I’ve even used it at home to check for things like after credit scenes or other information too.

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Don’t miss your favorite movie moments because you have to pee or need a snack. Use the RunPee app (Androidor iPhone) when you go to the movies. We have Peetimes for all wide release films every week, including Wicked, Gladiator II, Red One, The Wild Robot and coming soon  Moana 2, The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, Kraven the Hunter, Mufasa: The Lion King and many others. We have literally thousands of Peetimes—from classic movies through today’s blockbusters. You can also keep up with movie news and reviews on our blog, or by following us on Twitter @RunPee. If there’s a new film out there, we’ve got your bladder covered.

Comments

8 responses to “Gold Bond to replace James Bond in No Time for this Movie”

  1.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    No Time to Itch

  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    “Do you expect me to talk?”

    “No, Gold Bond, I expect you chafe!”

  3. Cute.

    The movie title *No Time To Die* couldn’t have been less appropriate during a pandemic. I think the universe obviously has a wicked sense of humor.

    Maybe the anti-vaxxers can make a documentary: No Time To Vaccinate: Plenty Of Time To Die.

  4.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    The Man With the Golden Bond

  5. A View to a Rash

    Live and Let Dry

    ItchyPussy

    You Only Scratch Twice

    Seriously. These things write themselves, ya’ll.

  6. Golden Man Avatar
    Golden Man

    I love this so much.

  7. Thanks Golden Man, and for the photo ~

    You are Man, Golden Man.

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