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Everything Wrong With The Jurassic Movies (YouTube series)

YouTube has some ongoing series related to movies that are so clever and fun, like the Honest Trailers, or How It Should Have Ended. Here we have the Everything Wrong With shorts (each about 15 minutes). [pullquote]These are funny and insightful, and if some of the nits they pick are petty[/pullquote], even they admit some movies just don’t have much that went wrong. Like in the original Jurassic Park film — a classic that still holds up after all this time. (In our RunPee Rewatch, we gave it a rare A+).

In one place now, enjoy the whole Jurassic oeuvre and have a good-hearted laugh at What Went Wrong.

See, here, the first JP “Everything Wrong With” is only 3 minutes long (contrast with the 15 minutes for JP III). Not even these guys could pick a lot of fights with this truly good film:

With Jeff Goldblum headlining the show for The Lost World, the movie should have been a lot funnier. But it’s still the 2nd  best Jurassic film, and the plot mostly hold it together with a coherent story, super gymnastic dino fighting powers aside:

In this third movie, JP III, everything went wrong, and it killed off the series for about 15 years:

Jurassic World reinvigorated the franchise by going back to basics and hiring Chris Pratt, who brings a vitality and casual humor to everything he does:

For comparison, there’s also a Everything Great in Jurassic World.

Since the Everything Wrong guys haven’t released their video for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom yet, this will do for now:

(SPOILERS FROM HERE ON IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN FALLEN KINGDOM)

And for a bonus video, can you name every dinosaur that escaped in the end of Fallen Kingdom?

I nabbed them all. (But then, my nickname could have been DinoGeekGirl.) Which dinosaurs did you recognize?

 

 

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Deadpool Musical Parody – Beauty and the Beast

[pullquote]If you’re a Disney Princess fan, you might not exactly appreciate Disney’s Prince of Gab, Deadpool.[/pullquote] And here we get a little in-joke about the other Disney Marvel heroic ensembles: with nods to the Avengers, X-Men, and…Betsy? I don’t know which franchise Betsy’s from.

Also, we learn a new term (presumably not new to comic book fans) — the X-Force. The official trailers seem to be about assembling Deadpool’s X-Force entourage, but the term isn’t part of common parlance just yet. I’m sure it will be by this weekend, when Deadpool spurts across America (<—- sorry for that off-color joke. Deadpool’s naughty-ness “rubs off”...)

Beauty and the Beast fans will recognize this as the live-action Gaston Song, which is great in itself, and included below for comparisony fun. Both movies are officially Disney nowadays, so it shouldn’t offend too much. Plus, the news is that Deadpool the Musical won a Webby Award for Best Writing. It’s a nugget of sweet, sweet weirdness:

Read our review of the live action version of Beauty and the Beast, and every Deadpool article on RunPee.com.

Finally, here are some links to both movie soundtracks:

 

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Movie Review – Jumanji 2: Welcome to the Jungle

This sequel version of Jumanji is adorable and funny. Predictable, yes, but the story is based on a video game plot, so it’s kind of a baked-in thing.

It’s also bit too pat in how each teenage character gets the perfect game avatar to grow as a person, but this is yet another thing that can be explained away in-universe: it’s a magic game, and that’s what it does. So I guess we can make allowances for this too. It’s all in good fun to service the adventure story.

This movie is very like a fantasy-version of The Breakfast Club, updated for the cell-phone/video game era. It’s got detention, stereotypical teens from different cliques, and the theme is an exploration of how their characters learn to work together. They become close through their experiences. So, yeah, the same concept.

The plot is paper-thin, which is, again, part of the conceit. [pullquote]What the film really sells are the sweet character interactions, tons of gorgeous visuals, lots of humor, and the swashbuckling tone. I’ll say it: this could become a lightweight adventure/humor classic. [/pullquote]We’ll see, over time. The audience enjoyed it — they were laughing and clapping throughout. There’s also a good message for young people about tolerance and acceptance. Nothing world-changing, but I’m glad I got to see this.

Everyone in the film was just great — the actors seemed like they had a blast. Jack Black was fantastic, and I normally don’t enjoy his brand of broad humor. He had the obviously funny part, but didn’t oversell it, even when teaching “Martha” how to flirt. Dwayne Johnson was super playful, and pulled off a believably bashful teen. Kevin Hart was a crack-up as the “backpack guy.” Karen Gillan has nice comedic timing, and it was good to see her actual face without the blue makeup of Nebula from Guardians of the Galaxy. At some points she still channeled Nebula, but her physicality as a warrior served her well in both roles. Everyone played off each other very well. The ensemble was just too damn cute, and they knew it.

Do you need to see the original Jumanji to follow along? In a word, no. Somehow the old one never pinged on my radar. I think I should catch it now; Jumanji 2 was that much fun. I laughed almost the whole time, and enjoyed these veteran actors doing their campy best of reviving the old “body swap” tale. It made me forget about life for a few hours, and that’s what a movie can do at its best.

Movie Grade: A-

Virgin Movie Review – Jumanji (1995)

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Movie Review – Deadpool

deadpoolGrade: A

Not only is Deadpool a hilarious movie, it also works as an amazingly accurate barometer for gauging relationships. For instance, it can be scientifically proven that the number of times a married man laughs during this movie is inversely proportional to how much their mother-in-law likes them.

Conversely, married women will find that the number of times they laugh during this movie is directly proportional to how much their husbands love them.

And of course if you have impressionable children, you can base your parenting skills on whether or not you took them with you to see this movie. In a word: DON’T. However, if you do, then please make a video of the questions they ask you when its over and post that to YouTube. That could be as funny as the movie itself.

Now, this is a very subjective comment, but I didn’t find the movie to be gratuitously violent or gross. Of course there are the obligatory slow motion head shots, a slight dismemberment, and a few beheadings, but they are all tastefully done. All in all I’d say it’s no more graphic than your average violent movie from the 80s. I’m not saying the violence doesn’t deserve an R-rating -– it does -– but violent or not, the language would warrant an R-rating and then some.

I thought the acting was… Who cares? This is Deadpool. It’s funny. That’s all you need to know.

For those Firefly fans out there, it was awesome to see Morena Baccarin get a really nice role. She was wonderful, but I couldn’t help but thinking somewhere Malcolm Reynolds is watching this, saying, “Inara, please. If you’re going to talk like that I’m going to ask Niska to cut both ears off next time.”

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RunPee is Tweeting Too Hard

We found a cute Tweet meme called TweetingtooHard and wanted to be a part of it. Basically, it’s a application where people submit boastful, self-serving, backpatting tweets.

Here is Dan’s beaut:

RunPee: “Trying real hard to keep it humble.But 15,900 results for Googling “RunPee Genius” is making it difficult.”

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We’re at Number Three in the What’s Hot category and gunning for number one. Help us show just how self-aggrandizing we can be by giving us a few more pats on the back:

Yes, take me to TweetingtooHard so I can help stroke your insignificant ego! <———

All we have to say is: BWAHAHAHA.

Follow RunPee on Twitter – Twitter.com/RunPee
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Original PeeTimes from Harry Potter Found in Garbage

Orlando, FL – Though they were thought to have been lost forever, the original notes from which the PeeTimes for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince are based on, have been found.

Archaeologists working in the kitchen where Dan Florio – AKA polyGeek – lives, unearthed these fragile documents from beneath a layer of day old coffee grounds. Working with care and precision the papers were extracted in nearly pristine condition.

Bill Gates and many others have already inquired if these documents may one day be available for auction. Sources close to Dan who wish to remain anonymous stated that it is likely that at least a portion of this collection will go to auction to help raise money for one of Dan’s favorite charities – his bank account.

Photos of these relics were taken just before the documents were permanently sealed in glass casings filled with a pure nitrogen atmosphere, so as to inhibit any further deterioration. Dan wanted us to be sure to mention that the photos were taken with an iPhone camera – which also runs the RunPee iPhone application that you can download for just 99 cents from the iTunes app store. He enjoined us, “be sure to remind everyone to tell their friends about it.”

original PeeTimes for Harry Potter You can see here the number “916” in the upper-right corner. This is unique among the collection of PeeTimes. It is generally thought that this is an indication of when the movie began – not the previews and such – but the actual movie. This would make sense, because as we all know each PeeTime is given an approximate time into the movie that it occurs. Therefore, knowing when the actual movie began would be paramount.

We can also see that another time has been written down to the far left and then scratched out. No one is sure why this was done. It is especially confusing since no correction is given. Perhaps Dan just screwed it up.

The rest of the PeeTime follows the general form of a note regarding the cue to RunPee followed by a few notes that will become the plot synopsis of what will happen during this PeeTime.
original PeeTimes for Harry Potter This classic example is flawless. We can see what can only be interpreted as the time in which this PeeTime began and ended. Followed by the cue and then notes about the plot synopsis.

Notice that this scene is part of what happens in the notes in the first PeeTime listed above. It is possible that what seemed like a good time to begin a PeeTime was in fact followed by an even better PeeTime which is detailed here.
original PeeTimes for Harry Potter At the very top is what can only be a potential PeeTime that never made it. You can see that it is listed to begin at 10:01. The PeeTime that is actually detailed here began at 10:02. Clearly this was another false start that lead to a new PeeTime.

What is curious is the reference to “Red”. It is possible that Dan couldn’t remember the hugely important main character’s name of Ron, the Young Master Weasley.

Many who like to think that Dan is without flaw have suggested that “Red” is simply shorthand for “Ron.” However, that is patently absurd. Both names have the same number of letters. It is obvious that this is the best evidence yet that Dan is fallible.
original PeeTimes for Harry Potter Another classic example of a PeeTime. Note however the numerous bullet points in this one. Some might question that a scene with this many details may not make for a good PeeTime.
original PeeTimes for Harry Potter Once again “Ron” is still being referred to as “Red”. It’s amazing to think that Dan still hadn’t picked up on one of the main characters names by this point. However, to cut him some slack, Dan must stay focused on finding PeeTimes.
original PeeTimes for Harry Potter Here we have an oddity. This PeeTime is clearly scratched out yet it does appear in the PeeTimes listings. Looking closely at the details of the submitted PeeTimes we can see that a RunPee user named Martyn entered this PeeTime into RunPee.com.
original PeeTimes for Harry Potter Another PeeTime that didn’t make the cut.