The first third of Snake Eyes had the potential to be a mediocre movie. But in the middle third, it went downhill quickly. There was hope that the action-packed final third would make up for it, but no. It was even worse. Any good action shots were in the movie trailer, which is usually a good indicator that the movie is going to be disappointing.
I’m sure no one expects the acting in Snake Eyes to be very good, so at least they won’t be disappointed.
The World’s Most Indispensable Movie App
The RunPee app tells you the best times to
run & pee during a movie
so you don't miss the best scenes.
Download the RunPee app.
100% free (donation supported)
Even still, there were a few cringe-worthy moments involving the secondary characters. I don’t like to single out a specific actor for a bad performance, but the character of Scarlett was so horribly written and directed that even an extremely talented actress would be challenged to just deliver a mediocre performance. And the access who played Scarlett isn’t extremely talented.
Which leads to the MCU-wanna-be effect. The Scarlett character is a red-headed, bad-ass, secret agent type. Really? Could they be less original? To top it off, the movie revolves around a wanna-be Infinity Stone — from space, no less. I know zero about the GI Joe comic stories, but adding that stone was just lame beyond lameness.
Aside: I think we are due for a whole host of really bad movies that try to emulate the MCU. The MCU pulled off Infinity Stones, magic realms, life after death scenes, you name it. They pulled it off because they built a framework of a story around it that made it work. You can’t just grab a trope like magical stones and throw it into a movie and expect it to work.
The action scenes were choppy to the point of boredom. Especially in the sword-orgy fights. And that’s another trope that they pulled out over and over again. I lost count of the number of sword fighting scenes that involved one man vs a dozen. There’s no realistic way to pull that off in an open space. Someone needs to shove a sword through this trope’s heart and kill it once and for all.
Do yourself a favor; just wait to see this movie when it’s streaming, and hopefully, by then you’ll forget about it and can skip it altogether.
Note: before the movie started my wife checked the IMDb.com rating. At that time it was an 8.0. Then after the movie, it had dropped to 6.8. By the time we got home, it was a 6.2. This morning it’s a 6.0. Ouch.
What people are saying
about the RunPee app.
Movie Watching Must Have!!
I go feral for this app. I love it so much and I wish everyone knew about it and used it. It is incredibly useful and I would be devastated if this app ever disappeared. Things I love: 1) the pee times! It’s so handy to know the best time to go and then read the synopsis of what’s happening while I’m gone. I never have to worry about missing the good bits! 2) knowing if there is a post-credits scene or not. This might be my fav feature because I would have missed out on some pretty critical scenes if it weren’t for RunPee. 3) the movie review and viewer rankings. This info has made me watch some movies that I normally wouldn’t and it’s nice seeing things outside of my usual scope. 4) that it’s a small family run business. I love shopping small and it really does feel like I’m part of the RunPee family! If you reach out to them, Dan will personally respond to you and he is so warm and helpful. GET THIS APP AND THEN SUBSCRIBE! It is absolutely worth it and you’ll be using it again and again!
View all reviews
Apple App Store | Google Play Store
Download RunPee app
The RunPee Peeple’s Poll currently has the expectation for Snake Eyes at 7.4 and the final rating at 5.8. This might be the worst-performing movie vs expectation for the year.
Grade: D-
About The Peetimes: We have 3 Peetimes for you. The first 2 are really good and we recommend either of them. The last Peetime is for emergencies only, but it’s the last break before the action starts.
There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Snake Eyes. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)
| Rated: | (PG-13) Sequences of Strong Violence | Brief Strong Language |
| Genres: | Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Thriller |
| Starring: | Samara Weaving, Henry Golding, Úrsula Corberó, Iko Uwais |
| Director: | Robert Schwentke |
| Writer(s): | Evan Spiliotopoulos (screenplay by), Joe Shrapnel (screenplay by), Anna Waterhouse (screenplay by) |
| Language: | English |
| Country: | Canada, USA |
Don’t miss your favorite movie moments because you have to pee or need a snack. Use the RunPee app (Androidor iPhone) when you go to the movies. We have Peetimes for all wide release films every week, including Wicked, Gladiator II, Red One, The Wild Robot and coming soon Moana 2, The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, Kraven the Hunter, Mufasa: The Lion King and many others. We have literally thousands of Peetimes—from classic movies through today’s blockbusters. You can also keep up with movie news and reviews on our blog, or by following us on Twitter @RunPee. If there’s a new film out there, we’ve got your bladder covered.
Leave a Reply