When you’re trying to figure out what movie to see this weekend, I have some crucial advice for you. Being a huge Bert Kreischer fan, I was horribly disappointed with The Machine. Don’t get me wrong, there was some of his humor but nothing like what I was expecting. The humor is more so in the background. It’s mainly about the Russian mob getting their stuff back. The amount of family members involved with their gang gets confusing. At one point, I couldn’t tell who the bad guys were and who were the good guys. Come to find out, there weren’t any good guys, really.
Overall, it was just too convoluted for my taste. Give me some Bert ripping off his shirt and making fun of his family; that’s what I was hoping for.
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On the upside, Kreischer is a good actor. He was fun to watch as was Mark Hamill. He played Albert, Bert’s Dad. What a strange, quirky fellow. That was another plus to the movie. I have to be honest here, the movie actually bored me to sleep. I nodded off, luckily, my husband was there to wake me up. I’m sure I’ll get some flack about this, but I really don’t think The Machine is worth the ticket price.
Grade: D+
About The Peetimes: I would recommend the 1st Peetime. It’s a little bit longer and has less humor than the 2nd Peetime.
There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of The Machine.
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I’ve been using RunPee for a few years now and it’s basically a requirement of going to the movies for me. The best part of course are the “pee times” that give you cues, synopses and times for when you can pee without missing the most important parts of the movie. There is also information about the credits- length, extras and if there are any extra scenes at the wayyy end. Super helpful to just know that it is or isn’t worth staying. There is a timer function that will buzz your phone when it’s a good time to pee. I also appreciate that the app is very conscientious about it being an app you use in a theater- dark background, all silent alarms etc. I will always enjoy the experience of the theater even if I could watch things at home- but I’ve even used it at home to check for things like after credit scenes or other information too.
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Rated: | (R) Some Sexual References | Pervasive Language | Drug Use | Strong Violence |
Genres: | Action, Comedy |
Starring: | Mark Hamill, Martyn Ford, Bert Kreischer |
Director: | Peter Atencio |
Writer(s): | Kevin Biegel, Scotty Landes |
Language: | English |
Country: | United States |
Plot
Bert’s drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.
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