The app that tells you the best time to

run and pee during a movie without missing the best scenes.

100% free (donation supported) Apple App Store | Google Play Store

Movie Review – The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

Read Time:3 Minute, 9 Second


If the plot for Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard were a character, it would have been shot in the head and buried in lava within the first 5 minutes. Not only is the plot bad, as the movie goes on it becomes clear that it was bad on purpose, as evidence of a heavy-handed, early 007 approach to the villain and his evil plan. The villain even gets an over-the-top name: Aristotle Papadopolous. Fortunately, there is very little time wasted on the plot scenes.

But wait. Maybe what we think is the plot isn’t really the plot.

—–Content continues below——

The World’s Most
Indispensable Movie App

The RunPee app tells you the best times to
run & pee during a movie
so you don't miss the best scenes.

As seen on

Download the RunPee app.
100% free (donation supported)

Get the RunPee app at the Google Play Store       Get the RunPee app at the Google Play Store

Read more about the RunPee app.

What people are saying
about the RunPee app.

A Google user

November 17, 2019

One of the most useful apps I’ve ever come across. I’ve used it for years and recommended it to all my friends. Even if I’m not the type to have to pee during movies often, being able to pull up the app and pass my phone to my mom/friend/grandma so that they know when to go to the bathroom has been invaluable. Because then I don’t have to summarize anything when they get back!!

View all reviews: Apple App Store | Google Play Store

Get the RunPee app at the Google Play Store     Get the RunPee app at the Google Play Store

More on that later.


If you’re going to see this movie, or have already, you clearly based that decision on the cast and their chemistry. And there was plenty of that. Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are hyper-reactive. Toss in Salma Hayek and you have a hypergolic mix.

(Hypergolic propellants are used in a rocket engine because the components spontaneously ignite when they come into contact with each other.)

There are numerous laugh-out-loud moments that increase in frequency and intensity as the movie progresses. That’s really the reason to see this movie.

Also: keep a lookout for Gary Oldman. Apparently, he’s in the movie. I know he’s a chameleon, but this is ridiculous. Personally, I think his role was edited out and hopefully we’ll see it in a future director’s cut. If you spot him, let me know down in the comments.

Also, also: Keep an eye out for one really subtle, but funny line. I didn’t pick up on it until I was reading my notes for the Peetimes, but in one scene Darius (SLJ) needs to make a phone call so Michael (Ryan Reynolds) gives him his phone and says, “Make it quick. I don’t have a long-distance plan.” What’s funny is that Ryan Reynolds is a spokesperson and part owner in Mint Mobile.

The Plot. No, not that plot, the other plot.

I don’t want to spoil anything for you so I’m not going to just give it away. But the plot that involves the terrorist computer virus isn’t what you should be looking for. There’s another more subtle plot going on that I wasn’t really aware of until the very end.

Not getting the plot until the very end will make rewatching the movie that much more enjoyable in the future. Especially if Gary Oldman’s scenes are added. But if you don’t think you’ll ever get a chance to rewatch this movie and you want to know what to look for, then click the spoilers link below.

Plot (Spoilers)
The real plot to keep your eye on is the fact that Sonya (Salma Hayek) and Darius (Samuel L. Jackson) want to have a family. Eventually, we discover that Darius may not be capable of upholding his end of the responsibility and so he suggests adoption.

Add to that many scenes during the movie where Sonya treats Michael (Ryan Reynolds) in a motherly fashion, and it should be evident where this bit of the plot is headed.

Grade: B+

About The Peetimes: I have 3 Peetimes for this movie, but you should really only consider the middle one. The other 2 are for emergencies only.

There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated: (R) Some Sexual Content | Pervasive Language | Strong Bloody Violence
Genres: Action, Comedy, Crime, Thriller, Sequel
Starring: Ryan Reynolds as *Michael Bryce*, Samuel L. Jackson as *Darius Kincaid*, Salma Hayek as *Sonia Kincaid*
Director: Patrick Hughes
Writer(s): Tom O’Connor (screenplay), Brandon Murphy (screenplay), Tom O’Connor (based on characters created by), Tom O’Connor (story), Phillip Murphy (screenplay)
Language: English
Country: USA, UK
Don’t miss your favorite movie moments because you have to pee or need a snack. Use the RunPee app (Androidor iPhone) when you go to the movies. We have Peetimes for all wide release films every week, including Drive Away Dolls, Madam Web, One Love, Argylle, I.S.S., and coming soon DUNE part II and many others. We have literally thousands of Peetimes—from classic movies through today’s blockbusters. You can also keep up with movie news and reviews on our blog, or by following us on Twitter @RunPee. If there’s a new film out there, we’ve got your bladder covered.

Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Ordinary Angels

A woman named Sharon Stevens made it her goal to see a family through hard times while battling her…

Movie Review – Drive-Away Dolls

Drive Away Dolls feels like a lesbian version of Pulp Fiction that was written by Wes Anderson. I…

Movie Review – Madame Web

Obviously, no one involved with making this movie can see into the future. If they could, they…

Movie Review – Bob Marley: One Love

This movie offers a glimpse into the life and legacy of the iconic reggae legend Bob Marley…

Movie Review – Lisa Frankenstein

Lisa Frankenstein was a delightfully fun movie. One word keeps coming to mind, whimsical. From the…

Movie Review – The Jungle Bunch 2: World Tour

Jungle Bunch: Operation Meltdown was a cute film but it didn’t quite grab me or my…

Movie Review – Maestro

“I love music so much that it keeps me glued to life,” Leonard Bernstein (Lenny), world-renowned…

Movie Review – Founders Day

Founders Day was not that bad, It was definitely better than I thought it would be. The story was a…


6 responses to “Movie Review – The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard”

  1. Good catch about Sam Jackson and that long distance plan. Remember also that he had the universe’s longest distance plan when he sent a page to Captain Marvel. 😉

  2. lol, true that. 🙂

  3. Mercedes Avatar

    According to imdb, the Gary Odman’s character is simply the scene where it’s a flashback from the original movie.

  4. Ah, that makes sense. I was probably writing in my notepad when that scene happened. Thanks.

  5. IMDB lists Gary Old man’s character as Vladislav Dhukovic.

  6. Thanks. He was in the first movie in the same role. I just didn’t see him at all in this movie. But I guess there was a short clip of him at some point that I missed.

Leave a Reply