Movie Review – Expend4bles

Where to start? I guess with the script, that displayed zero creativity. And that’s a little surprising because the writers—Kurt Wimmer, Tad Daggerhart, and Max Adams—have collectively done some nice work in the past, such as Law Abiding Citizen, Equilibrium, The Terminal List, and Bumblebee. So they’re not exactly hacks, but if I were them, I certainly wouldn’t want to put this movie on my resume. There were many scenes that tried to be funny but ended up being mildly amusing at best. The plot was completely predictable, like in the way a mystery movie might drop one really obviously random clue early in the film that screams, This will be important at the end of the movie.

The good news is that the acting wasn’t bad. The bad news is that there wasn’t any acting to be seen. All of the characters display the same blithe indifference to danger so the movie sort of plays out like the script a kid might dream up while playing with some action figures, putting them in real danger but knowing that nothing bad will ever happen.

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The action ranged from forgettable to ridiculous. I’m sorry, I have to say that the motorcycle scenes were nonsense. You can’t put machine guns mounted on the steering wheel of a motorcycle and shoot people as they did without swerving all over the place and crashing. I don’t buy it.

In my opinion, the only reason to go see this movie in theaters is to help support the crew that helped put it together. The credits ran for 11 minutes because, for some reason, there was a crazy huge staff. I’m sure they didn’t make bank, but every little bit helps. But if I had the option I’d donate $15 to a Support the Crew fund and skip watching the movie.

Grade: D

About The Peetimes: I would recommend the 2nd Peetime. It’s easily the best of the bunch.

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dd33803, 07/05/2023

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There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Expend4bles.

Plot
Armed with every weapon they can get their hands on, the Expendables are the world’s last line of defense and the team that gets called when all other options are off the table.