A Open Response to Kevin Feige (re: Using the Bathroom During Endgame)

Dear Mr. Feige,

We here at RunPee love Marvel movies more than Nick Fury loves cats. And flerkens. We are super excited for Avengers: Endgame. So much so that we did two breakdowns of the first trailer:

1. Avengers 4 Endgame – First Trailer Review
2. A Slightly More Than Casual Fan’s Reaction to Avenger 4 Trailer

We also haven’t been able to stop ourselves from speculating on what Phase 4 of the MCU might hold. And we especially love Spider-Man: Homecoming.

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There is always time to pee.

However, we must take issue with your statement that there won’t be time to pee during Endgame. While we expect that Endgame will be action-packed, emotional, and perhaps our favorite movie of the year, there is ALWAYS time to pee. Since we established the RunPee app in 2009, we have offered Peetimes for over 1500 movies — and all of the MCU movies. We offered Peetimes for roughly 169 movies last year alone, including three Peetimes for Avengers: Infinity War. No offense.

You might want to recall Captain America: Winter Soldier had one of the best Peetimes ever in RunPee  history. Not that it was an unnecessary scene, but it was very easy to summarize what happened. You do challenge us to find a scene we can sum up, but we’re up to it. Every time.

No intermission?

You’ve chosen not to give Endgame an intermission, and thus not put it in the same league with masterpieces such as Lawrence of Arabia and 2001: A Space Odyssey. And why would you? It’s only a movie about THE FATE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

However, just because you’re not giving people an opportunity to pee doesn’t mean we can’t. We never failed to find a Peetime before and we will not fail now. We will do #WhateverItTakes.

We will not fail.

We realize Endgame is not Suspiria, for which we found an epic twelve minute Peetime. However, we have found Peetimes for such thrilling movies as A Quiet Place, Mad Max: Fury Road, and Mission Impossible: Fallout  — and we WILL find at least one good Peetime for Endgame.

(Don’t worry – we summarize what people will be missing during their few minutes away.)

We will guarantee at least three pee breaks, although two of them may be “emergency-only” Peetimes. But we promise you won’t have to make anyone squirm in their seats during your assuredly excellent movie. We’re superheroes at RunPee too. 🙂

One last thing.

By the way. I am severely disappointed you have not released any footage of Howard the Duck and Spider-Ham helping to save the day, but I trust you are saving that as a surprise for the theatrical release.

We here at RunPee wish you the best and we look forward to watching–and peeing during–Avengers: Endgame.

Sincerely,

Golden Man

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[…Learn all about the RunPee app…]

Endgame Pee Planning from Rudd, Ruffalo & RunPee

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Golden Man

Golden Man loves comedies, romantic films, superhero movies, and awards bait.  He blogs about the Oscar race all year long at www.etchedingold.ninja