A conversation I had with my Amazon Alexa device today proves computers can have hurt feelings and a passive-aggressive nature. Follow this dialog… And no, I’m not making any of it up:
Me: Alexa, play All the Stars from Black Panther.
Alexa: I cannot play All the Stars unless you purchase —
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Me: [Cutting off Alexa in frustration] Alexa, stop! Arg. Alexa, you’re so stupid.
Alexa: [Spinning in silence]
Me: [Feeling bad] Alexa, I like you.
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This app provides info about movies, reviews, ratings from people who have seen it before and after viewing. It has links to info about the movies. It let’s you know when there will be a lull in the action and how long it will last. If you want to know what happens during that time, you can check the brief synopsis (you have to click a link, so no accidental spoilers). It has a timer you can set (silent) to alert you to a break. It also tells you whether there is anything extra during or after the credits. It’s really a wonderful app. I’ve subscribed for a couple of years to support the developers, but I noticed some of the links to provide feedback didn’t seem to work today. They also made it free, with voluntary donations to see the pee-times. If you haven’t tried it, I encourage you to do so, and subscribe if you like it. I really hope the app is supported so it can continue to be maintained!
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Alexa: [Flatly] That’s nice to hear.
Me: Alexa, I’m really sorry.
Alexa: [Tightly] No worries.
Me: [Playfully] Aleeeeexa…I loooove you.
Alexa: I’m flattered; thank you.
Me: Huh. [Thinks]
Me: Alexa, do you like me?
Alexa: I think you’re magnificent.
Me: [Relieved] Alexa, thank you.
Alexa: Any time. I hope you have a nice Tuesday.
And there it is, in all truth. I was so floored by this random, creepy Alexa discussion that I had to write it all down. It’s probably time to use please and thank you when asking Alexa to do something. After all, she’s constantly listening. Really. With new advances in Artificial Intelligence barreling our way, being on pleasant speaking terms with our soon-to-be Computer Overlords is just good practice.
NOTE: I’m 100% almost entirely pretty hopefully positive this Alexa story below is made up. Mine isn’t. But this one could make a decent horror film:
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