Eddington has to be the most painfully slow movie I’ve sat through this year. It dragged worse than kids’ feet on the first day of school, and that’s saying something.

With a cast featuring Joaquin Phoenix, Pedro Pascal, Emma Stone, and other heavy hitters, you’d expect cinematic gold. You’d think it would be so riveting that you’d be glued to your seat, hanging on every word. Well, you’d be dead wrong.

The problem isn’t the talent – Phoenix brings his usual intensity and Pascal has proven his range time and again. But even A-list actors can’t save a script that seems more interested in being artistically obtuse than entertaining. Stone, who can usually light up any scene, felt wasted in a role that gave her little to work with.

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The pacing moves at the speed of molasses in January. I’m all for a thoughtful, deliberate film, but there’s a difference between building tension and testing your audience’s patience. Eddington crossed that line about thirty minutes in and never looked back.

Making matters worse, you can barely make out what the characters are saying most of the time. Whether this was an intentional artistic choice or poor sound mixing, the result was the same – I found myself straining to follow conversations that should have been crystal clear. In a character-driven film, garbled dialogue is a death sentence.

Then there are the characters who seem to exist just to fill screen time. I kept waiting for their purpose to be revealed, for some meaningful connection to emerge, but it never happened. It felt like padding in a movie that was already testing my endurance.

I could ramble on about the sheer dullness of Eddington, but honestly, I’ve got better ways to spend my time – and so do you. Don’t waste your money or your evening on this one.

Grade: D

About The Peetimes: I’ve found 2 solid Peetimes. Both work equally well.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Eddington.

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Plot
In May of 2020, a standoff between a small-town sheriff and mayor sparks a powder keg as neighbor is pitted against neighbor in Eddington, New Mexico.