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Movie review : Transylmania


What WAS this? Somewhere between a soft porn flick and a teen-humor gross-out gag film.

The movie seems to want to fall into the American Pie and Something About Mary genres. Don’t be fooled. The script lacks their cleverness but piles on the bodily humor. There are boobies, penises, farts, vomiting, midgets, pot parties, orgies, spurting blood and whatever else you might imagine is funny to immature adults.

There actually IS a plot here to follow, surprisingly. Once the story gets underway (about 45 minutes into the film), there are fun moments with mistaken identities and vampire jokes (“Vait minute – I don’t HAVE reflection!”). Watching Radu sneaking from tree to tree for shade, trying to scare a nonplussed child into giving up her bike was light fun. Pete, as a wanna-be Vampire Slayer, offers a few amiable moments.

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The character of Wang eventually stands out as mildly interesting among the rest of the non-entities in this forgettable film.

Why this film didn’t go straight to DVD is a mystery. Perhaps the trendy vampire angle is meant to draw crowds? Well, it didn’t work. I was there on opening day – one of two people in the entire theater. I’ve never had so much room to myself.

Kudos to the producers for filming on location in Romania. The castle offered a rich setting, along with spooky forests, interesting townscapes, bridges, moats and dungeons.

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January 4, 2019

RunPee is one of my favourite apps. No more googling a film before you see it and risking spoilers, this app has everything you need to know, not just the best time to go to the toilet. Dan, the developer, also offers an amazing customer service experience. I recently switched phones, and Dan was very generous in sorting things out with me as I moved over to my current system. If you’re an avid film watcher, this is the app for you!

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The film gets a D+ for the gorgeous on-location filming and the surprisingly cohesive vampire plot, despite mostly listless acting and endless lame sex/pot/vomit jokes.

What did you think about Transylmania? Share your thoughts about the movie in the comments below..

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3 responses to “Movie review : Transylmania”

  1. Was there anyone who liked this movie? Did anyone see it in the theater besides me?

  2. Sweet Melissa Avatar
    Sweet Melissa

    I never even seen this movie hit any theaters & want to know where to see it. Where is it playing?

  3. I don’t think it’s playing anywhere anymore. But I bet it will be on DVD soon, if not already.

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