Movie Review – The Northman

I can’t say that I hated this movie. But I didn’t like it a lot.

The acting was as dreary as the Icelandic weather

This was one of those movies that you could barely tell was shot in color. The sky and landscape are uniformly gray throughout most of the movie. Clearly, that was on purpose as it sets a tone. But the director didn’t stop there. The actors felt like they were acting in black and white as well. This isn’t on the actors because Alexander Skarsgård, Nicole Kidman, Anya Taylor-Joy, et al. can act. This was how the director wanted it. I don’t know why they bothered with such a talented cast if not to use their talents. You don’t use a race car to go grocery shopping. Know what I mean?

The World’s Most Indispensable Movie App

The RunPee app tells you the best times to
run & pee during a movie
so you don't miss the best scenes.

As seen on

Download the RunPee app.
100% free (donation supported)

     

Read more about the RunPee app.

To Magic or Not to Magic

Movies like Harry Potter, Dr. Strange, Star Wars all have plots that rely on the existence of magic. And that’s great. And obviously a the majority of movies don’t rely on the existence of magic. Which is also a valid choice. But, walking the fine line between those two can be tricky. And this movie, in my judgment, completely failed in this respect. The Norse mythology in this movie can easily be explained as personal/internal experience. People who deeply believe in mythology can interpret and even imagine that magic exists in their lives, yet externally nothing magical or supernatural happens. That can be used to make a powerful story, especially when the characters believe they are destined for some purpose. In that instance, they interpret their reality in a way that props up their feeling of purpose. These are often stories that explore the meaning of faith and perseverance.

What doesn’t work for me is to create a story that can be entirely explained by internalizing the existence of magic, and then throw in just one or two seemingly trivial events that are clearly magical. What’s the point in that? If that’s how the story works then just embrace magic completely.

Give me something

In the end, this movie didn’t move me in any way. The story didn’t explore anything remotely new or even take an interesting angle at an old trope. It was long and boring. I’d rather watch a documentary about Norse mythology, or just watch videos shot from Iceland for two hours. Either of those would be worlds more interesting than this movie.

Grade: D-

About The Peetimes: We have three good Peetimes for you to choose from. There could be more but many of the scenes were do confusing to summarize.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of The Northman.

Plot
From visionary director Robert Eggers comes The Northman, an action-filled epic that follows a young Viking prince on his quest to avenge his father’s murder.

What people are saying
about the RunPee app.

Michael Linhart

July 30, 2023

My bladder thanks you so much!! App works great for telling u when and for how long you have a pee break! I didn’t use the timer function so the dialog in the movie was a great clue as to when to go. I also liked the info about each movie to know whether there was any extra scenes during or after the credits. Nothing worse than waiting for all the credits and then no extra scene.

View all reviews: Apple App Store | Google Play Store

     

Dan Gardner

Creator and developer of the RunPee app. When something doesn’t work right in the app it’s pretty much his fault. 🙂

Aspiring author. Would like to finish his “Zombie Revelations” trilogy if he could break away for working on RunPee and the cottage he’s building for RunPee Mom.