“The Substance” + “Mean Girls” + “Get Out” = this boring mess.
All of those movies were good to great in their own lane, but when you push them all together in this film, all the interesting, funny and thoughtful aspects of them drain right out through the gigantic plotholes.
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Joan is a Chinese teenager who just wants to be white and blonde. When she finds a way to do that, you’ll never guess what happens: things don’t go great for her! (I couldn’t help but think of Eddie Murphy’s hilarious Saturday Night Live sketch where he uses makeup and dresses up to look “like a white person,” and suddenly life is grand for him. If you’ve never seen it, google “Eddie Murphy White Like Me” and thank me later. In fact, watch that instead of spending money to go see “Slanted.”)
There are interesting ideas when it comes to a Chinese character suddenly being white and seeing life “from the other side,” I guess. But man, this is just slow and silly and dull and predictable in so many ways.
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If you’re like me and enjoy a 92oz soda as part of the movie experience, you’ll be thankful for this app telling you the best times to go for a quick break. Whether that’s to refill your soda or recycle it.
Possibly an even better feature is the info on if the movie has after credits scenes. There’s nothing worse than sitting there reading about who the key grip was, then finding out that’s all you did. I blame Marvel for the stupid trend.
Seriously, I see a dozen movies a month and use this app every single time. Worth every Penny of the infinity coin thing I bought.
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The performances are fine, I suppose. McKenna Grace does a great job of looking like the “ideal” pretty, vanilla, white girl. The actress who plays Joan’s mother is the stand-out to me; she delivers a believable lived-in performance that seems on a much higher level than this movie requires.
Enough of this. Just go watch Eddie Murphy kill it on SNL…
Grade: D+
About The Peetimes: Read a synopsis of first 3 minutes of this movie.
There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Slanted.
| Rated: | (R) Some Sexual Material | Bloody Images | Language | Brief Violent Content | Teen Drug Use |
| Genres: | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi |
| USA release date: | 2026-03-13 |
| Movie length: | |
| Starring: | |
| Director: | Amy Wang |
| Writer(s): | Amy Wang |
| Language: | en |
| Country: | US |
Plot
An insecure Chinese-American teenager undergoes experimental surgery to appear white, hoping to secure the prom queen title and peer acceptance.