| Ninja Assassin |
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[ No Spoilers ]
The previews billed this as the greatest ninja movie ever. We’ll you guys just go on thinking that. But we all know it’s not true.
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This is a great movie for people who like really bad acting and poor cinema photography and lame fighting choreography. Did I mention the bad acting? Lots of that. There probably would have been even more but they had to spend a lot of time showing us the bad fighting scenes.
At least they mix it up. Just when you think you can’t take any more bad acting they go into a long fight scene to release us from our misery. And then when you think you can’t take any more of the bad fight choreography they save us by switching back to the bad acting. In that since it’s pretty well paced.
[ Spoiler ahead ]
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I’ve been using RunPee for a few years now and it’s basically a requirement of going to the movies for me. The best part of course are the “pee times” that give you cues, synopses and times for when you can pee without missing the most important parts of the movie. There is also information about the credits- length, extras and if there are any extra scenes at the wayyy end. Super helpful to just know that it is or isn’t worth staying. There is a timer function that will buzz your phone when it’s a good time to pee. I also appreciate that the app is very conscientious about it being an app you use in a theater- dark background, all silent alarms etc. I will always enjoy the experience of the theater even if I could watch things at home- but I’ve even used it at home to check for things like after credit scenes or other information too.
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And it wasn’t just the acting and fighting that was lame. The story has as many holes as a ninja caught at the wrong end of a dozen throwing stars. My favorite is when our favorite ninja and Mika get separated. It ends with Mika running over a bad ninja just as he’s about to kill the good ninja. He then jumps in he car and Mika says to him, “I can’t believe I found you.” Like that’s supposed to fix it right up.
What did you think about Ninja Assassin? Share your thoughts about the movie in the comments below.
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