Bladder Bursting Blockbusters – are modern movies too long?
As Alfred Hitchcock said, “The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.” Beautifully said and appropriate for most films.
The above-linked Yahoo News Story lists wonderful films clocking in at 90 minutes – Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark – films that would have foundered at longer lengths (like their very own sequels/prequels, actually). Hitchcock wisdom aside, I ‘m not sure 90 minutes is the magic minute number for all films.
The World’s Most Indispensable Movie App
The RunPee app tells you the best times to
run & pee during a movie
so you don't miss the best scenes.
Download the RunPee app.
100% free (donation supported)
The Lord of the Rings films are, inarguably, verrrrry loooong. But the Lord of the Rings book is thousands of pages! Thousands. That trilogy needs the length to explain things properly, and still many of the movie version’s storylines are compressed. Tom Bombadill was eliminated as a plot point – which I am okay with, granted – but when favorite characters like Faramir and Theoden get short shrift, it irks. The poignantly dark story of Denethor was reduced to a joke. Saruman’s film farewell was just unfortunate, compared to his kick-ass denoument in the novel. My point is, the movies could have been even longer in this case, but not shorter.
Titanic was also very well told, despite the seemingly-excessive screen time. It’s a clean story with a good pace; I would have hated to miss any of it. Titanic is long, yes, but somehow stays fresh with every viewing.
The Color Purple is another classic long film without fat. Shawshank Redemption fills its running time nicely; The Abyss is just about right…so, not every long film is a tedious bore.
But then there are the films that really could have – nay, should have – been shorter. Peter Jackson, fresh off the Oscar success of Lord of the Rings, was granted much too much leeway to directorially dictate King Kong.
Jackson’s overweening Kong story clunks along with frequent gratuitious interludes, like the psychotic bug swamp gross-fest. By the time the gorilla gets to NYC, you’ve long since stopped caring about anyone but the girl, and you wish Jack Black would just die already.
Did you know King Kong is actually the movie that inspired the creation of RunPee in the first place?
What people are saying
about the RunPee app.
Movie Watching Must Have!!
I go feral for this app. I love it so much and I wish everyone knew about it and used it. It is incredibly useful and I would be devastated if this app ever disappeared. Things I love: 1) the pee times! It’s so handy to know the best time to go and then read the synopsis of what’s happening while I’m gone. I never have to worry about missing the good bits! 2) knowing if there is a post-credits scene or not. This might be my fav feature because I would have missed out on some pretty critical scenes if it weren’t for RunPee. 3) the movie review and viewer rankings. This info has made me watch some movies that I normally wouldn’t and it’s nice seeing things outside of my usual scope. 4) that it’s a small family run business. I love shopping small and it really does feel like I’m part of the RunPee family! If you reach out to them, Dan will personally respond to you and he is so warm and helpful. GET THIS APP AND THEN SUBSCRIBE! It is absolutely worth it and you’ll be using it again and again!
View all reviews
Apple App Store | Google Play Store
Download RunPee app
We really should make an award for that.
So what is the answer? Besides being armed with a list of good PeeTimes?
Well, directors should hire excellent film editors, for a start – people who know when a story starts to sag but don’t keep you breathless for the whole ride, either. A movie like The Bourne Identity got it right – not slow, but not exhausting. Aliens got it right and so did Pitch Black (even though, once again, their sequels forgot how to tell their stories properly). Finding Nemo is just about perfect. Australia didn’t get it right: sitting through it feels like watching three unrelated, rather tedious films.
What movies do you think are too long? Is it only epic and adventure films that suffer from poor editing? What movies do you think got it right?
Don’t miss your favorite movie moments because you have to pee or need a snack. Use the RunPee app (Androidor iPhone) when you go to the movies. We have Peetimes for all wide release films every week, including Wicked, Gladiator II, Red One, The Wild Robot and coming soon Moana 2, The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, Kraven the Hunter, Mufasa: The Lion King and many others. We have literally thousands of Peetimes—from classic movies through today’s blockbusters. You can also keep up with movie news and reviews on our blog, or by following us on Twitter @RunPee. If there’s a new film out there, we’ve got your bladder covered.
Leave a Reply