Movie Review – Doctor Sleep

Movie Review - Doctor SleepI’ll admit to being a bit dubious about coming to see this. Be honest… Did you think The Shining needed a sequel? Or worse still, something that just seemed to be using the name to attract bums on seats? In my defense, I know nothing about the alternative comic book universes so ‘Joker’ may be more relevant than I found it.

I guess the argument runs that the original source novel got a sequel, so why shouldn’t the film? The thing is that ‘The Shining’ wasn’t liked by Stephen King. Mind you it could have been a Kubrick thing; he did fall out with Anthony Burgess after making A Clockwork Orange.

The Shining was, undoubtedly, a top-notch horror film, and is more impressive for being shot entirely in-camera, being made before the age of “computer this and digital that”. However, the fact that special effects are ubiquitous shouldn’t be held against ‘Doctor Sleep’. They are used sparingly but appropriately, and I do wonder what Stanley would have done if he’d had the same access to them.

To be honest, they could have got away with using effects a lot more… Iconic Shining scenes were shot using similar actors — rather than lookalikes or digital overlays — and I think that is fair enough, given the almost forty years between the two. Most reasonable people will agree that getting someone who looks a bit like Shelley Duvall, rather than trying to shoot a digitized scene which ends up looking like a fiberglass model, is the best way ahead.

But what of the story? I enjoyed it! Ewan McGregor is always watchable and Rebecca Ferguson is excellent as the scary villain, Rose the Hat, and they are ably supported by new talent and more established faces.

I suppose the last question is: do I need to see The Shining first? As I can’t go and see it as a Shining virgin, I have to think quite carefully, and my answer would be “No.” You don’t have to see it, but there are references you’ll appreciate if you have.

Grade: B

About The Peetimes: There are 4 Peetimes for you, including an early one for those of you who don’t like to miss the trailers. Please note that the 2nd Peetime features torture, which some may find disturbing.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Doctor Sleep. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for disturbing and violent content, some bloody images, language, nudity and drug use
Genres: Horror, Sequel

Movie Review – Countdown

 

Movie Review - CountdownCountdown was a fun little flick. I enjoyed it — there were some scare moments balanced with just enough humor to add to its overall balance.

In today’s world, we are all attached to our phones. They’ve become an extension of our hands. In Countdown, they become your own personal countdown to death.

Yes, there’s an app for that.

It’s a pretty short movie and they did a great job keeping the flow going. No boring moments here.

The part that appealed to me the most was their use of religious figures. Father John rocked the screen. He was awesome! I’ve never seen them take the route Countdown did. He listened to rap music in his study while smoking, and his passion was demons. He was too cool.

If you’re looking for a movie that won’t terrify but simply entertain you, try this one. I’ve got no complaints.

Grade: B+

About The Peetimes: You have 2 choices for this very short movie. I highly recommend the 1st Peetime. The 2nd Peetime contains some character development that comes into play later in the movie.

There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Countdown. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (PG-13) for terror, violence, bloody images, suggestive material, language and thematic elements
Genres: Horror, Thriller

Movie Review – The Lighthouse

 

Movie Review - The LighthouseIt’s no secret I have issues with A24 productions. I have seen them all. I go in with an open mind — and every time but twice I’ve hated them. Spring Breakers and Tusk get a free pass; those entertained me.

When I saw the trailers for The Lighthouse, I was excited. It looked to be right up my alley — great cast, and the setting was set at what I’d call one of my happy places. (I’m a lighthouse lover.) Then in big letters I see it…A24 Productions. I internally groaned and thought to myself that just maybe I’d still like it, because what could go wrong with such a great concept?

I’m still laughing about how wrong I was.

I gave ‘It Comes at Night’ a scathing review, and had a lot of backlash from users on how badly I trashed it. I tried explaining to them that a review is a singular person’s thought on a movie. My opinion. Their opinion was different and that’s totally okay. So here it goes, enter my opinion, stage left.

I did not like this movie. At all. It has taken my number one spot of the worst movie ever made. It made my head hurt and I can still hear the blasted foghorn.

For starters, I couldn’t understand them. The accents used were so over the top that all I heard was gibberish. Enough said there.

My next complaint: the over-used masturbation scenes. Seriously? How many times did we need to see them doing this? Apparently a lot, because there are too many of those scenes. I’m a jaded person; I think I’ve seen every gross thing to come out of Hollywood, and never cringed the way I did last night. I felt dirty watching it and trust me, I’m not a prude. My blood pressure is starting to rise again.

I could pick this movie apart like a turkey on Thanksgiving, but I’m going to stop here. I conveyed my feelings well enough, I think. It was simply dreadful.

Thanks A24 for finally settling an ongoing internal battle. You will never lure me in again. Shout out to my boss — my wonderful brother — there isn’t enough money to get me to do another A24. I’m done.

Grade: F-

About The Peetimes: I have two Peetimes at 29 and 51 minutes. The middle Peetime is a very short ‘Alert Peetime’ containing graphic animal cruelty to a bird.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of The Lighthouse. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for sexual content, nudity, violence, disturbing images, and some language
Genres: Drama, Fantasy, Horror

Movie Review – Zombieland: Double Tap

Movie Review - Zombieland: Double TapZombieland: Double Tap wasn’t great, but it was better than I expected and certainly satisfying.

I’m happy to say that Double Tap avoids the typical disappointment from sequels that were added on to a successful movie as a money grab. #ZL2 has the same charm and wit as the original. I’m not saying it was as good as the original, but only because the original Zombieland had, well, originality. What can you say? Zombieland created the zomedy genre.

The introduction of new characters was, for the most part, fun. Without giving anything away, I think some were used just enough, while others fortunately only had a few short scenes.

Here’s what I really enjoyed: the plot for Double Tap is mostly about creating humor. However, in little pieces here and there small details are added about characters that really make a difference later. Double Tap isn’t a complex story by any means — that’s not the sort of story this aspires to be. Kudos to the writers (Dave Callaham, Rhett Reese, and Paul Wernick) for keeping the humor coming while weaving these new details into a great payoff, without resorting to cheap cliches.

Grade: B+

About The Peetimes: ZL2 is a short movie, but I have 2 good Peetimes. The 1st one is longer, but so is the synopsis. I’d recommend the 2nd Peetime. Neither has any action to speak of, but are immediately followed by action scenes, so don’t be late.

There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Zombieland: Double Tap. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for bloody violence, language throughout, some drug and sexual content
Genres: Action, Comedy, Horror, Zombie

Movie Review – It Chapter Two

 

Movie Review - It Chapter TwoI’ve got so much to say about It Chapter Two, I’m not usually one for long reviews, but this one calls for it. Here we go…

Let’s start off on a positive note.

The beginning absolutely captivated me. I loved how each of the Losers were contacted and asked to come back to Derry. Then we were given glimpses into each of the Losers lives as adults. I really liked that. Eddie’s moment was absolutely hilarious; he grew up to have an intense love of profanity. Bill had grown up to be about what I had expected him to be; it was Beverly’s life that troubled me. I won’t give that away. Richie (Bill Hader) in my opinion stole the spot for funniest character. His sarcastic negativity was priceless. Ben was a bit of a shock, I didn’t see his adult story coming. Let’s just say, “Hot!”

The movie then gathers even more of my attention. The Losers are all now back in Derry. Watching the interaction and reactions of the friends was perfectly done. Mike gathered them all together and his revelations are intensely brought to light.

The Best Part of the Plot

It comes down to the fact that each of the Losers have to find a token of their childhood to sacrifice during a ritual that Mike researched and wants to perform. I won’t say anymore about that. I’m trying to avoid spoilers.

During this shift of the movie, it takes on a surreal feel. Each Loser has “their” thing they are searching for. They are individually done and I thought that was a fabulous way to do it. I chose to not use any of those scenes for Peetimes, as the plot development and character development was at maximum velocity here.

Now we transition into them working together to solve this age-long problem called Pennywise. This was masterfully done, with the exception of Mike and Beverly (Isaiah Mustafa and Jessica Chastain).

Where IT: Chapter 2 Let Me Down

Here’s my first gripe: Isaiah, in my opinion, didn’t have a very strong screen presence. It’s like his expression never changed. He’s a great actor, but I didn’t like him in this. Second gripe: Jessica Chastain is also another great actress, but in It Chapter Two, she didn’t bring the strength and tenacity that young Bev brought (Sophia Lillis). There was no pop to her and I was really looking forward to seeing her rip It up.

Here’s my final gripe….Pennywise. I need to skirt around this as to avoid spoilers, dangit — this is hard to say. Pennywise didn’t drool enough for me; he didn’t use his clipped high pitched speaking tone enough, arrgg… It let me down. This is absolutely not on Skarsgard: his acting was impeccable. It was the writing that faltered here. I’m not crazy about how they portrayed him. That’s all I can say right now.

Now that I’ve got my three gripes out of the way, I can officially say I still loved It 2. The gripes are easy enough to overlook because the positives totally outweigh the negatives. The film had some amazing effects, brutal sounds and hilarious moments. It Chapter Two is certainly good, but didn’t quite do the perfect execution to rate an A.

Grade: B

About The Peetimes: It Chapter Two is packed with action, with almost no lulls. I hope that these 3 Peetimes will help you get thorough this monstrously long movie. (Seriously, check your Peetimes on the RunPee app, and tell everyone you know — this film is almost 3 hours long!)

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of It Chapter Two. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for disturbing violent content and bloody images throughout, pervasive language, and some crude sexual material
Genres: Horror, Clowns (duh)

All the Problems with the Movie It

Who is Who in IT – Chapter 2

Movie Review – Ready or Not

Movie Review – Don’t Let Go

Movie Review - Don't Let GoMy personal opinion: I loved it. The movie starts off fast and keeps gaining momentum, hurtling us toward an incredible ending.

It’s action packed. The story was interesting and the acting was superb.

I don’t know why so many people are trashing it. I’ve read about thirty reviews talking about how this story has been done before. People are referencing Frequency; sure it’s similar, but helloooo?? Does anyone recall the 11 Halloween movies, or perhaps the 11 Friday the 13th movies? I can think of at least 5 Groundhog Day themed movies. My point is, there are so many movies, that finding a truly original script is becoming almost impossible.

(Unless you’re Quentin Tarantino. He’s original and prefect all the time, every time.)

I’m not going to say one word about the story development. I recommend trying to avoid seeing blurbs about the ending. The surprise of the finale is well worth the effort of avoiding any type of news covering Don’t Let Go.

I’m giving it a solid A. I was pleasantly surprised by it and hope you’ll enjoy it just us much as I did.

Grade: A

About The Peetimes: I highly recommend the 1st Peetime. This movie bounces back and forth in time and it will confuse you, even if you look away for a second.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Don’t Let Go. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for violence, bloody images, and language
Genres: Drama, Fantasy, Horror, Thriller

Movie Review – Ready or Not

Movie Review - Ready or NotReady Or Not, here I come with my review.

This was an awesome movie. I had so much fun watching it, just like playing hide and seek when I was a kid…kind of…we didn’t have all the cool weapons and no one ever died.

I loved the originality. I’m trying to think of another movie to compare it to, but I’m at a loss. It was refreshing to see something totally unique.

The entire cast brought pizzazz to the screen. I lost count of how many lines I laughed at. The delivery and timing was spot on. That tells me not only were we working with great actors, we had great writing and direction.

Let me mention one more thing without giving out any spoilers. I saw the trailer no less than twenty times. I thought I had a pretty good grasp of what I was going to see. I was wrong. Granted, that never, ever happens (me being wrong) but when it does happen, I don’t usually like it. In this case, I was very pleased.

You’ll have fun with this one. I certainly did.

Grade: A+

About The Peetimes: I have 2 Peetimes for this short movie. The 2nd one is long and has some of the most cringe-worthy scenes, in case that kind of thing bothers you.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Ready or Not. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for violence, bloody images, language throughout, and some drug use
Genres: Horror, Mystery, Thriller

Movie Review – 47 Meters Down: Uncaged

Movie Review - 47 Meters Down: UncagedI watched a lot of shark movies recently to get excited for 47 Meters Down 2. Almost all of them were a good time. Plus, I really liked the original 47 Meters Down. But this sequel is dreadful.

I can’t even begin to tell you just how bad this movie is.

Basically, the undersea premise could have been a grand adventure — an Indiana Jones type film with blind albino cave sharks, patrolling an ancient submerged city, full of secrets and buried treasure.

Instead, 47 Meters Down 2 is  just dumb. Boring. Mindless and stupefying. It’s frequently so dark and murky underwater that it’s hard to see the action. The main redeeming feature: it was short. Why did this movie happen? Who thought this was a good idea? WHY WHY WHY WTF…arg.

Yeah. I think it’s the worst flick I’ve seen in years. (And I watch a lot of movies for RunPee.) 47 Meters Down: Uncaged doesn’t even rate a “so bad it’s good” epithet. It’s not that clever. (Here’s how to do a good ‘bad’ shark movie.)

I’ll make an effort to review this rotten film in more detail later (maybe), but with any luck it won’t matter, since you won’t see it anyway.

More Detail, Barely:

47 meters down 2 uncaged fishbait meme
Fixed it.

In an effort to add more information to this review, I’ll add that there’s zero relationship with the original 47 Meters premise or characters.  47 2 is a meager attempt to launch a shark film franchise out of too little meat. The undersea city concept could have been so cool. What a shame.

The producers should have just named the film Fish Bait and swam far, far away…

Seriously. PASS.

Grade: D-

About The Peetimes: This is a short movie with a lot of action. I have 1 good Peetimes early on, and 1 good for Emergencies later. Since there’s nothing during the credits, you can run out as soon as the credits roll.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of 47 Meters Down: Uncaged. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (PG-13) for creature related violence and terror, some bloody images and brief rude gestures
Genres: Adventure, Drama, Horror

Pro-Tip — SEE ANY OF THESE SHARK MOVIES INSTEAD: 

First-View Movie Review – 47 Meters Down (2017)

Deep Blue Sea – First View Movie Review (With YouTube Clips)

The Shallows – First View Movie Review (2016)

Movie Rewatch – Jaws – Still A Fantastic Blockbuster

First View Movie Review – Jaws 2

Movie Review – The Meg

Newie Review – The Reef – Low Budget, Decent, Non Campy Shark Movie

Preview Movie Review – Bad CGI Sharks

Movie Review – Bethany Hamilton: Unstoppable

Movie Review – Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Movie Review - Scary Stories to Tell in the DarkScary Stories to Tell in the Dark thoroughly entertained my 6 year old granddaughter. I found myself slightly bored.

For starters, I was expecting a more mature horror movie based on the previews I saw. I didn’t realize that it was from a series of books written in the 1980’s. I wish I would have known that before I saw it.

So keeping that in mind, I gave it a better grade than I was originally going to. I’d compare this movie to the Goosebumps series. It will be a great movie for let’s say, the junior high school kids, perhaps freshman in high school also.

There was a few moments that screams of fright escaped from the audience. One in particular got me too. No spoilers here though. I think this movie would be perfect for a slumber party night.

So if your teen aged daughter or son ask you to take them to see it, you won’t be terribly bored. It has its moments that you’ll enjoy.

Grade: B-

About The Peetimes: I’ve got 2 Peetimes for you to choose from. I recommend the 1st one. It’s your best choice, but the 2nd is just in case you need it a little later in the movie.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) No rating.
Genres: Horror, Mystery, Thriller

Movie Review – Crawl

Movie Review - CrawlDue to a terrible mistake made by myself on opening night, I had to go back today and watch Crawl all over again. It didn’t get any better the second time around.

I have lived in Florida for a number of years now and can empathize with the two characters in this movie. Yes, hurricanes suck and alligators are terrifying. Put dealing with those two things together and you got yourself the makings of a great movie. At least I thought so.

It was boring. Most of it takes place in the basement, and it’s just them moving around in the water trying not to get eaten. The subplot of the father and daughter trying to reconcile hurt feelings felt tedious to me. There was no chemistry between them and I honestly didn’t care if they made it out alive.

The only thing I did enjoy were the sound effects. The gators sounded cool and when they would chomp down on body parts it was even cooler.

There was one moment when the entire crowd laughed. Exactly as the movie ends and the credits begin, they play, “See You Later, Alligator,” by Bill Haley.

This would make a great way to spend a rainy evening on the couch; my recommendation is to wait for the DVD.

Grade: C-

About The Peetimes: Crawl is a super short movie, so I only submitted 1 Peetime. It’s well placed during a moment that was easy to sum up, and gives you plenty of time to run and pee.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Crawl. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for bloody creature violence, and brief language
Genres: Action, Adventure, Horror