Movie Review – Borderlands

Take Guardians of the Galaxy, Mad Max, and Captain Marvel. Mix them all together and then take out all the good bits and you have Borderlands. This has got to be one of the biggest what were you thinking moments in movie-making history.

Who thought this was a good idea?

Did anyone read this script before greenlighting the project?

How does this even happen?

This might be the worst movie of the year. It has a 4.6 on IMDb, 7% from the critics at RottenTomatoes and 47% from the audience on RottenTomatoes. I read an article that pre-ticket sales were very disapointing for this movie. But honestly, anyone who has anything to do with this movie should be thankful that very few people are going to watch it and realize how bad it is. They’ll just read about how bad it is and forget about it.

Who is the voice of the robot Claptrap?

This isn’t the first tim e I’ve seen something like this happen, but they got a known actor, Jack Black, to do the voice of the little robot. There’s nothing wrong with that, but they digitally enhanced the sound of the voice to make it more robotic so that there’s no possible way to tell who’s voice it is. I could have done the voice for Claptrap and knowone would know the difference. And oh, by the way, robots don’t sound like robots right now. They sound exactly like anyone else. I think in the distant future they’ll still know how to make a robot not sound like it was created in the 1950s.

Comedy genre

I almost forgot to mention: this movie isn’t funny. They sure tried to be funny. But I don’t think I even smiled once at one of the jokes in this movie and I didn’t hear any of the other four people in the theater with me make a sound either. IMDb lists the genres for this movie as: Action, Adventure, Comedy. I don’t think it should count as a comedy genre movie just because they tried to be funny. It would be like ordering a hamburger that doesn’t have meat. It’s just bread and condiments. No one would call that a hamburger no matter how hard someone tried, but failed, to put meat on it.

Here, I fixed it for you. This is an: Action, Adventure, not-Comedy movie. Now the genres are correct.

It wasn’t all bad

The only thing that wasn’t horrible about this movie is the acting. Cate Blanchett did everything she could to make her role work. She can’t help it that the script is what it is. Cate does make me wonder just how awesome she would have been as a superhero. She did manage to nail her one role in the MCU as Hela. Now I’m wishing that she had been cast as Captain Marvel or any other recurring char acter. But at least she was a pretty good villain for one movie. I hope DC is watching and finds some part for her in one of their movies.

And it looked like Kevin Hart was just passing time. His character is pretty much the same character in every movie like this. I’ve seen him perform more challenging roles and I wish he would focus on those.

This is definitely one of those movies that you should avoid in theaters, and then forget to watch it when it streams.

Grade: D-

About The Peetimes: I think the first Peetime is the best. The second Peetime isn’t bad. But I would only use the third Peetime in an emergency.

There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Borderlands.

Rated:	(PG-13) Intense Sequences of Violence | Action | Language | Some Suggestive Material
Genres:	Action, Adventure, Come dy
Starring:	Jamie Lee Curtis, Haley Bennett, Gina Gershon
Director:	Eli Roth
Writer(s):	Eli Roth, Joe Crombie
Language:	English
Country:	United States

Plot
Lilith, an infamous outlaw with a mysterious past, reluctantly returns to her home planet of Pandora to find the missing daughter of the universe’s most powerful S.O.B., Atlas. Lilith forms an alliance with an unexpected team – Roland, a former elite mercenary, now desperate for redemption; Tiny Tina, a feral pre-teen demolitionist; Krieg, Tina’s musclebound, rhetorically challenged protector; Tannis, the scientist with a tenuous grip on sanity; and Claptrap, a persistently wiseass robot. These unlikely heroes must battle alien monsters and dangerous bandits to find and protect the missing girl, who may hold the key to unimaginable power. The fate of the universe could be in their hands – but they’ll be fighting for something more: each other.