I remember when the Scary Movie franchise first hit theaters, and it was genuinely funny. Sharp, fast, and absolutely unhinged in the best possible way. The Wayans Brothers had a gift for taking the movies you just watched and tearing them apart in ways that made you laugh until it hurt. I went into Scary Movie 6 hopeful. They brought back the whole original crew — Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans — twenty-six years later. The band was back together. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, it went wrong.

7:42●●● 95%

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Now listen, I understand that spoof movies have to go for it. I’m not a prude. I’ve seen things in horror theaters that would make a lesser woman hand in her popcorn bucket and go home. But there is a difference between bold and lazy, and Scary Movie 6 spent most of its runtime firmly camped on the lazy side of that line. The sex toy humor showed up early, stayed late, and apparently forgot to call an Uber home. What started as a gag became a crutch, and by the midpoint I was well and truly over it. I’ll just say the movie kept shoving the same joke down our throats... and yes, the pun is fully intended this time.

The real tragedy is that there’s genuinely good material hiding underneath all of that. The film takes aim at Longlegs, Get Out, M3GAN, Sinners, The Substance, and more (Rotten Tomatoes) — all worthy targets with real comedic potential. A few of those spoofs actually made me laugh out loud. But just when you think the movie is finding its footing, it trips over its own prop department again.

Marlon Wayans said he wanted to recapture the original flavor. I believe he meant it. Bless his heart, I really do. The originals were smart-dumb — dumb on the surface, sharp underneath. This one forgot the “sharp” part somewhere between the second and third vibrator gag.

If you grew up with the franchise and want to see the old gang together again, I won’t tell you to stay home. Just walk in with your expectations already on the floor. And if you want a horror comedy that actually delivers from start to finish, go dust off Cabin in the Woods instead. Your sides will thank you.

Grade: D

Plot Twenty-six years after outrunning a suspiciously familiar masked killer, the Core Four are back in the killer’s crosshairs and no horror movie IP is safe.