Movie review : Ninja Assassin

Ninja Assassin

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[ No Spoilers ]

The previews billed this as the greatest ninja movie ever. We’ll you guys just go on thinking that. But we all know it’s not true.

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This is a great movie for people who like really bad acting and poor cinema photography and lame fighting choreography. Did I mention the bad acting? Lots of that. There probably would have been even more but they had to spend a lot of time showing us the bad fighting scenes.

At least they mix it up. Just when you think you can’t take any more bad acting they go into a long fight scene to release us from our misery. And then when you think you can’t take any more of the bad fight choreography they save us by switching back to the bad acting. In that since it’s pretty well paced.

[ Spoiler ahead ]

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And it wasn’t just the acting and fighting that was lame. The story has as many holes as a ninja caught at the wrong end of a dozen throwing stars. My favorite is when our favorite ninja and Mika get separated. It ends with Mika running over a bad ninja just as he’s about to kill the good ninja. He then jumps in he car and Mika says to him, “I can’t believe I found you.” Like that’s supposed to fix it right up.

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