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Return To Splatter Farm is listed on IMDb as a Horror/Thriller. That worries me a bit, as that indicates that the humour wasn’t intentional. I don’t have the benefit of having seen the original to know whether this is intentional or not but, as is well-known, I’m a bit of a grading softy, so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.

As indicated by the title, Return To Splatter Farm is a sequel of sorts. Back in 1987 there was a film called, unsurprisingly, Splatter Farm. I never heard of this film, so I had to do a bit of digging. What I found was that Splatter Farm was one of the first films made by the Polonia twins — Mark and John.

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The World’s Most Indispensable Movie App

The RunPee app tells you the best times to
run & pee during a movie
so you don't miss the best scenes.

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I Thought That Was A Bad Thing

It turns out that, for years, I thought “straight to video” was automatically a bad thing. If a film was deemed too atrocious to have loads of money spent on distribution, venue hire, and publicity, then it went “straight to video.” They tended to be third or fourth episodes in an adequate, rather than brilliant, series.

However, I’ve just found out that there were some companies who specialised in getting films out to the public in a different way. One of these companies was Donna Michelle Productions, and the way they worked was to put their films out on VHS.

The big advantage of this was that it meant that up and coming independent filmmakers could get their films out. In fact, a lot of them were shot and edited on VHS, so there wasn’t even a conversion cost. Remember, this was when there was a Blockbuster Video in every town, and all the supermarkets and newsagents had a display with videotapes for rent — and they needed product to hire out.

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dd33803, 07/05/2023

This is a great app. I wish more people would support it

This app provides info about movies, reviews, ratings from people who have seen it before and after viewing. It has links to info about the movies. It let’s you know when there will be a lull in the action and how long it will last. If you want to know what happens during that time, you can check the brief synopsis (you have to click a link, so no accidental spoilers). It has a timer you can set (silent) to alert you to a break. It also tells you whether there is anything extra during or after the credits. It’s really a wonderful app. I’ve subscribed for a couple of years to support the developers, but I noticed some of the links to provide feedback didn’t seem to work today. They also made it free, with voluntary donations to see the pee-times. If you haven’t tried it, I encourage you to do so, and subscribe if you like it. I really hope the app is supported so it can continue to be maintained!

Developers note: RunPee doesn’t make much money but it supports itself nicely. Donations are appreciated, but not required. We’ll add as many movies to the database as we can until there are no more movie theaters.

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It Was Thirty Three Years Ago Today

So, back in 1987, Splatter Farm rode the VHS crest of a wave, and managed to get seen by a reasonably sized audience. Enough for it to be revisited and a sequel made, which brings us back to Return To Splatter Farm.

Before the film starts there is a dedication card to three of the original cast, which acts as a reminder of the length of time that has passed; they were John Polonia, Todd Smith, and Marion Costly.

And how was the Return To Splatter Farm?

Having checked that the original did aim to have some comedy running through it, I’m happy to think of it as a Horror/Thriller/Comedy. It’s obvious, really, that some of the scenes are played tongue in cheek, and I think it would be pointless to try and deny them. Some of the effects are a bit poor, to the extent you can clearly see how they were done. And, it has to be said, that the acting tended to be a bit spotty but, ultimately, that’s what you look for in a low budget slasher film! Part of the fun is sitting back and thinking, “That looks fun, I could do that.”

Movie Grade: C

Don’t miss your favorite movie moments because you have to pee or need a snack. Use the RunPee app (Androidor iPhone) when you go to the movies. We have Peetimes for all wide release films every week, including Fly Me To The Moon, Despicable Me 4, A Quiet Place: Day One, Inside Out 2 and coming soon, Twisters, Deadpool & Wolverien and many others. We have literally thousands of Peetimes—from classic movies through today’s blockbusters. You can also keep up with movie news and reviews on our blog, or by following us on Twitter @RunPee. If there’s a new film out there, we’ve got your bladder covered.


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