A Open Response to Kevin Feige (re: Using the Bathroom During Endgame)

Kevin Feige and Avengers Endgame at comic con
We love your work, Kevin Feige, but RunPee WILL find Peetimes for Endgame.

Dear Mr. Feige,

We here at RunPee love Marvel movies more than Nick Fury loves cats. And flerkens. We are super excited for Avengers: Endgame. So much so that we did two breakdowns of the first trailer:

  1. Avengers 4 Endgame – First Trailer Review
  2. A Slightly More Than Casual Fan’s Reaction to Avenger 4 Trailer

We also haven’t been able to stop ourselves from speculating on what Phase 4 of the MCU might hold. And we especially love Spider-Man: Homecoming.

There is always time to pee.

However, we must take issue with your statement that there won’t be time to pee during Endgame. While we expect that Endgame will be action-packed, emotional, and perhaps our favorite movie of the year, there is ALWAYS time to pee. Since we established the RunPee app in 2009, we have offered Peetimes for over 1500 movies — and all of the MCU movies. We offered Peetimes for roughly 169 movies last year alone, including three Peetimes for Avengers: Infinity War. No offense.

You might want to recall Captain America: Winter Soldier had one of the best Peetimes ever in RunPee  history. Not that it was an unnecessary scene, but it was very easy to summarize what happened. You do challenge us to find a scene we can sum up, but we’re up to it. Every time.

No intermission?

You’ve chosen not to give Endgame an intermission, and thus not put it in the same league with masterpieces such as Lawrence of Arabia and 2001: A Space Odyssey. And why would you? It’s only a movie about THE FATE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

However, just because you’re not giving people an opportunity to pee doesn’t mean we can’t. We never failed to find a Peetime before and we will not fail now. We will do #WhateverItTakes.

We will not fail.

We realize Endgame is not Suspiria, for which we found an epic twelve minute Peetime. However, we have found Peetimes for such thrilling movies as A Quiet Place, Mad Max: Fury Road, and Mission Impossible: Fallout  — and we WILL find at least one good Peetime for Endgame.

(Don’t worry – we summarize what people will be missing during their few minutes away.)

We will guarantee at least three pee breaks, although two of them may be “emergency-only” Peetimes. But we promise you won’t have to make anyone squirm in their seats during your assuredly excellent movie. We’re superheroes at RunPee too. 🙂

One last thing.

By the way. I am severely disappointed you have not released any footage of Howard the Duck and Spider-Ham helping to save the day, but I trust you are saving that as a surprise for the theatrical release.

We here at RunPee wish you the best and we look forward to watching–and peeing during–Avengers: Endgame.

Sincerely,

Golden Man

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[…Learn all about the RunPee app…]

Endgame Pee Planning from Rudd, Ruffalo & RunPee

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Endgame Pee Planning from Rudd, Ruffalo & RunPee

Paul rudd and mark ruffalo talk endgame
With all due respect to Ant-Man and The Hulk, RunPee has a  better pee strategy for Avengers: Endgame.

Avengers: Endgame is a looooong film. Even the MCU actors are perplexed by fan questions about peeing during their three-hour movie extravaganza. Producer Kevin Feige just claims you can’t leave your seat ever, not at all, and must stay to watch Every. Single. Scene.

Thanks, Feige. This isn’t like some Jedi Mind Trick that works best on the feeble-minded. Marvel fans tend to be more savvy.  But there are ways around this unrealistic edict.

Two Endgame actors came forward to be “helpful”

  • Paul Rudd – Ant-Man – says to pee in your popcorn bucket under the seat.
  • Mark Ruffalo – The Hulk – suggests sitting in your excrement for three hours wearing adult diapers. Which maybe the Big Green Guy would consider, but we doubt Bruce Banner would do it.

I kid you not. Rudd and Ruffalo offered these tidbits on Jimmy Kimmel when asked when to ‘go’ during the three-hour bladder-busting runtime of Avengers: Endgame.

That’s not including the half hour of surely the best trailers to come out this year before the film even starts. So…plan on 3&1/2 hours of butt-time.

More unpleasant pee options for Endgame and your bladder

Besides the clear indication these actors are joking — and besides knowing from personal experience that no adult diaper can contain a FULL BLADDER’s worth of contents (don’t ask) — I wouldn’t try either option. I guess you could insert a catheter and attach a bag to your leg….but…come on. I dare anyone to go that route.

This leaves you either suffering/squirming, or going in absolutely dehydrated, or dementedly sprinting off at what will undoubtedly be the worst moment ever in Endgame’s monumental epic.

How about something easier, more sanitary, with less chance of getting you arrested for public exposure? (Sorry, Paul.)

With respect to Rudd and Ruffalo: may we suggest a third option to the pee bucket and a cold, wet pair of Depends?

RunPee: Because movie theaters don't have pause buttons.Try using the RunPee app instead. Seriously.

RunPee has one mission: to help every bladder on Earth during the movies.  The RunPee Family watches every wide release film on or before opening night, and curates a handful of Peetimes where you can slip out out to the loo, read the brief synopsis of what you missed, and sit back down without ever being confused or missing something crucial.  The app also tells you what happens in the 1st three minutes if  you’re running late, and covers the Extra Scene details, all without spoiling a thing. You’ll know when to go, as the app silently vibrates in your lap. Just grab your cellphone and go.

This is the RunPee app’s 10th Anniversary, so back when Iron Man first woke up in a cave in Afghanistan, RunPee’s been steadily building a library of thousands of Peetimes and movies….including, of course, each film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Avengers Endgame Peetimes will be posted before opening might, with  — in a film this long — several Peetimes to choose from, stretched across the movie.

RunPee is the only realistic option if you want to be comfortable in any long epic movie. Kudos if you can hold it that long with no discomfort, but now you don’t have to. And you can get all the sodas and beer you want, run out to the concession stand for food, or just stretch your legs a minute. All without getting arrested from indecent exposure by peeing in a popcorn bucket…

Learn more about the RunPee App and try it for free. 

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Mark Ruffalo Spoils Avengers 4 Title – Or Does He?

My name is Mark Ruffalo, and I’m a Spoilaholic.

Mark Ruffalo, as Marvel’s Hulk, talks a lot — unlike the Hulk, actually. Ruffalo’s been known to accidentally drop many a spoiler on talk shows, followed by an “ooops” face, and usually an unsuccessful attempt to pass it off as a joke. It seems he just did it again, live with Jimmy Fallon. Maybe.

Possible spoiler ahead…

Ruffalo clearly tells the entire audience the movie title for Avengers 4, which has been kept under heavy wraps since the title for Avengers Infinity War was released.  Director Kevin Feige previously announced the title itself was a spoiler, and that speaking it was verboten.

In the video, Ruffalo’s words are bleeped and blocked out, but fans pieced together what’s he’s saying anyway, and it seems to be “The Last Avenger”.  If true, it makes a nice bookend with Captain America: The First Avenger, especially with Chris Evans announcing he will be hanging up Cap’s mantle in Avengers 4.

This may or may not be the name of the movie, as the entertainment world is pretty aware of Ruffalo’s spoilerey reputation: the whole thing could just be a pre-planned joke on the audience, intended only for laughs.

Of course, Ruffalo isn’t the most loose-lipped member of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He shares that special spot with young Tom Holland (Spiderman), in a little video moment I wrote about here.

Here’s the Ruffalo segment on Fallon’s show. Do you think this is a legit spoiler, or a playful set-up? (Clearly the ending is meant as great fun…)