Movie Review – Rambo: Last Blood

Movie Review - Rambo: Last BloodFirst off; if you’re a fan of all the other Rambo movies, you are going to love Last Blood. He does some major damage to the bad guys, and isn’t this why these movies have so much appeal? The violence in this film was so very graphic, that I did have to turn my head and look away a couple of times. But again, isn’t this why we continue to go back to see John Rambo do his thing? He has certainly perfected the art of killing in some very creative ways.

Even though this Rambo is as predictable as all the other movies, I still enjoyed it it. Just as Stallone was able to bring the original Rocky back for each of the movies, he brought the essence of the first Rambo back to complete this bloody saga. It was fun to see Stallone still able to look and act as menacing today as he did in 1982.

The pacing was very good. There were no protracted dialog-driven scenes, and better yet, no unnecessary love scenes. I can’t really comment on the writing, because most of the time I couldn’t understand what Sylvester was saying. He is much better at shooting than speaking.

So, if maybe you’ve had a frustrating week and need to blow off a little steam, just head for you’re local theater, buy your ticket for Rambo: Last Blood, get a good seat, and live vicariously through the last 20 minutes of this movie. You’ll be a new person walking out of the theater.

Grade: B

About The Peetimes: There was a great deal of plot and character development in the 1st 1/2 of the movie, and a great deal of action in the last 1/2 of the movie, making it a little difficult to find a down time long enough for a Peetime. Fortunately, just about 1/2 way through the movie, there was 4&1/2 minutes of exposition that could be missed, since it was easily summed up in the synopsis.

There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Rambo: Last Blood. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for strong graphic violence,grisly images, drug use and language
Genres: Action, Adventure, Thriller

X-Men Movies That Were Never Made

 

dark phoenix xmen
Probably not the last X-Men movie, but it’s up to the studios.

Dark Phoenix hits DVD and Blu-ray on September 17.  It’s the final adventure for this cast of characters.  And it’s the next-to-last X-Men film we’ll see for a while, assuming The New Mutants eventually gets released.  There have been a LOT of X-Men movies, ranging from fair to awesome.  And then there are those that might have been.

Let’s take a look at days of future past with X-Men movies that were never made:

X-Men Origins: Magneto

Wolverine got his own spin-offs, so why not give one to the X-Men series’ most popular villain?  Sheldon Turner wrote a script set between 1939 and 1955.  It followed Magneto trying to survive in Auschwitz.  Xavier is a young soldier who helps liberate the camp.  Magneto tracks down and exacts vengeance on the Nazis who tortured him.  This quest for vengeance puts him at odds with Xavier.  While the film was eventually shelved, parts of it were absorbed into X-Men: First Class.

x-men gambit
We’re really waiting for Gambit’s movie.

Gambit

The fan favorite comic book character has only appeared in one X-Men movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, where he was played by Taylor Kitsch.  However, Channing Tatum was attached to star in a full-length Gambit film for years through several script changes, several changes of directors, and several release date changes.  After Disney acquired Fox, they finally cancelled the project.  All hope is not lost though.  Gambit may not get his own movie, but Marvel will probably bring him to life when they finally make their own X-Men movie(s).

Beast spinoff

Byron Burton wrote a script featuring Nicholas Hoult’s Hank McCoy (not Kelsey Grammar’s).  The film would have featured a mutant with a mutation similar to his own that was terrorizing an Inuit village.  It would also have featured a connection to Mr. Sinister from the comics.  And Beast would have been fighting alongside Wolverine in the final act.  However, that’s the reason it never got made.  Simon Kinberg, who was in charge of the X-Men film property, refused to even read the script as he had his own plans for bringing Wolverine back into the X-Men universe.

x-force deadpool
Deadpool says X-Force is a great name, since it’s gender neutral.

X-Force

X-Force is a team of superheroes often associated with the X-Men.  According to Wikipedia, they take a more militant and aggressive approach toward their enemies than the X-Men do.  Deadpool 2 featured a version of the X-Force.  However, the X-Force were slated to get their own violent, raunchy, R-rated movie similar to Deadpool.  Unfortunately, the X-Force movie was another casualty of the Disney-Fox merger.

Fox’s Marvel crossover movie

On Kevin Smith’s Youtube show Fatman Beyond, writer Zack Stentz revealed a project he’d been co-writing in 2011 that would have used every Marvel character that Fox owned at the time.  In addition to the X-Men, the movie would have featured The Fantastic Four, Deadpool, and Daredevil.  Paul Greengrass came close to directing it.  I wish Disney/Fox would publish/release the script for this unmade film because I’m so curious.  Stentz was a co-writer on Thor and X-Men: First Class.  I’d love to see what his take on these characters would be and how it differs from how others have portrayed them.  Plus, it would just be fun to see them all together.

What’s your superpower?  Ours is never missing the good parts of a movie.  Make sure to take the RunPee app with you every time you go to the movies.  We always have Peetimes for the latest movies including Spider-Man: Far From Home and IT: Chapter Two.  And you can stay up to date with the latest movie news and reviews by following us on Twitter @RunPee and liking us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/RunPee/

Movie Review – X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Every X-Men Film Explained

X-Men: Apocalypse (movie review)

X-Men: Days of Future Past – movie review

Movie review : X-Men First Class

 

 

 

What You Need to Know to Watch the Downton Abbey Movie

downton abbey lords and ladies
Must be nice.

Have you seen or recently rewatched the UK six-season show Downton Abbey? Do you remember enough of it to make sense of the new film — one that doesn’t bother with any backstory exposition at all?

Here’s a cheat sheet to remind you of what you need to know to enjoy the Downton Abbey Movie (consider this a spoiler warning if you haven’t seen the series)…and here is how to watch the series online.

servants in downton abbey
Team Downstairs.

The Servants’ Halls:

  • Daisy began a relationship with Andrew, one of the footmen. It’s a relationship on equal appreciation, for once.
  • Mrs. Patmore is still the cook, and continues to mentor Daisy in life lessons.
  • Barrow is still the Butler, as Carson is retired. (His palsy is never referenced.)
  • Barrow is still gay and suffering from loneliness. He’s also mellowed out a lot.
  • Mrs. Carson (Previously Mrs. Hughes) is still in charge of the household.
  • Anna is still Lady Mary’s maid, and Baxter still is Lady Grantham’s maid.
  • MY GOD, the Bates’ Problems are over and done. Thankfully. They’ve been through enough.
downton abbey characters
Team Upstairs.

The Nobles of Team Upstairs:

  • Awww, Lord Grantham still has his dog, which he loves more than his daughters. 😉
  • The Dowager Countess Lady Violet has NOT mellowed over the years, but she seems to accept Isobel Crawley now as a real friend. She’s has moved on to new frenemies (like her Dolores Umbridge counterpart from Harry Potter, Imelda Staunton.
  • Lady Edith and Lady Mary are still happily married, although their husbands and children are barely in the film. Mary = Henry Talbot. Edith = Bertie Pelham, FYI. There’s been a lot of men in their lives over the seasons, but this is how it ended up.
  • Also, Isobel Crawley is still the Baroness Merton with her marriage to Richard Grey, who is still no longer dying.
  • Robert and Cora are still as cute a couple as ever (Lord and Lady Grantham).
  • Lady Rosamund and Rose are nowhere to be seen.
  • Sisters Mary and Edith appear to have maintained the hard won truce they found at the end of the series.
  • Tom Branson remains is a loyal son-in-law and is comfortable being a nobleman now, but his Irish socialist past still haunts him.

If you really want to know the very detailed ins and outs of how Downton Abbey ended, check out this wiki.

Finally: A very detailed video refresher narrator by the beloved stars — by the beloved Carson and Mrs:Hughes/Carson: (HUGH TV show spoilers, not mild like me mine.)

Finally, here some of the most acidic Dowager Countesses Lady Violet Crawly lines (the delightful Maggie Smith) shade throughout the years — this is a hoot:

Movie Review – Downton Abbey

What Downton Abbey is About, and How to Binge Watch It

Quiz – Queen Elizabeth l and Mary Queen of Scots

Movie Review – It Chapter Two

 

Movie Review - It Chapter TwoI’ve got so much to say about It Chapter Two, I’m not usually one for long reviews, but this one calls for it. Here we go…

Let’s start off on a positive note.

The beginning absolutely captivated me. I loved how each of the Losers were contacted and asked to come back to Derry. Then we were given glimpses into each of the Losers lives as adults. I really liked that. Eddie’s moment was absolutely hilarious; he grew up to have an intense love of profanity. Bill had grown up to be about what I had expected him to be; it was Beverly’s life that troubled me. I won’t give that away. Richie (Bill Hader) in my opinion stole the spot for funniest character. His sarcastic negativity was priceless. Ben was a bit of a shock, I didn’t see his adult story coming. Let’s just say, “Hot!”

The movie then gathers even more of my attention. The Losers are all now back in Derry. Watching the interaction and reactions of the friends was perfectly done. Mike gathered them all together and his revelations are intensely brought to light.

The Best Part of the Plot

It comes down to the fact that each of the Losers have to find a token of their childhood to sacrifice during a ritual that Mike researched and wants to perform. I won’t say anymore about that. I’m trying to avoid spoilers.

During this shift of the movie, it takes on a surreal feel. Each Loser has “their” thing they are searching for. They are individually done and I thought that was a fabulous way to do it. I chose to not use any of those scenes for Peetimes, as the plot development and character development was at maximum velocity here.

Now we transition into them working together to solve this age-long problem called Pennywise. This was masterfully done, with the exception of Mike and Beverly (Isaiah Mustafa and Jessica Chastain).

Where IT: Chapter 2 Let Me Down

Here’s my first gripe: Isaiah, in my opinion, didn’t have a very strong screen presence. It’s like his expression never changed. He’s a great actor, but I didn’t like him in this. Second gripe: Jessica Chastain is also another great actress, but in It Chapter Two, she didn’t bring the strength and tenacity that young Bev brought (Sophia Lillis). There was no pop to her and I was really looking forward to seeing her rip It up.

Here’s my final gripe….Pennywise. I need to skirt around this as to avoid spoilers, dangit — this is hard to say. Pennywise didn’t drool enough for me; he didn’t use his clipped high pitched speaking tone enough, arrgg… It let me down. This is absolutely not on Skarsgard: his acting was impeccable. It was the writing that faltered here. I’m not crazy about how they portrayed him. That’s all I can say right now.

Now that I’ve got my three gripes out of the way, I can officially say I still loved It 2. The gripes are easy enough to overlook because the positives totally outweigh the negatives. The film had some amazing effects, brutal sounds and hilarious moments. It Chapter Two is certainly good, but didn’t quite do the perfect execution to rate an A.

Grade: B

About The Peetimes: It Chapter Two is packed with action, with almost no lulls. I hope that these 3 Peetimes will help you get thorough this monstrously long movie. (Seriously, check your Peetimes on the RunPee app, and tell everyone you know — this film is almost 3 hours long!)

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of It Chapter Two. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for disturbing violent content and bloody images throughout, pervasive language, and some crude sexual material
Genres: Horror, Clowns (duh)

All the Problems with the Movie It

Who is Who in IT – Chapter 2

Movie Review – Ready or Not

Who is Who in IT – Chapter 2

It chapter 2 poster clown
Editor’s Note: I don’t known what “IT” is, and I don’t want to. #[email protected]

IT: Chapter 2 opens this week, promising bigger scares and more blood than the first part.  (Is that even possible?)  If you’re like me, you haven’t visited these Stephen King characters since the first IT movie came out two years ago.

IMPORTANT: IT Chapter 2 is almost 3 hours long…you’re going to need to know your Peetimes. Okay, let’s get going on the who is who in case you forgot.

I’ve included photos of the before and after of the cast, shown as kids and adults.

Do you remember the child characters?  

So, here’s a refresher on who’s who in “The Losers Club” to get you caught up before Pennywise strikes again:

Bill Denbrough 

  • played by Jaeden Martell as a child
  • played by James McAvoy as an adult
Bill is Georgie’s older brother.  He is the leader of the group, bent on avenging his brother’s death.  He stutters, and has a crush on Beverly.
It scary movie cast horror
Once upon a time…

Beverly Marsh 

  • played by Sophia Lillis as a child
  • played by Jessica Chastain as an adult

Beverly is a tomboy.  She has a strict, abusive father and is part of a love triangle between Bill and Ben.  She has the vision of the group returning to fight Pennywise as adults.

Ben Hanscom 

  • played by Jeremy Ray Taylor as a child
  • played by Jay Ryan as an adult

Ben is the poet.  He is Beverly’s secret admirer who writes her the poem on the postcard.  Ben pieces together a lot of the town’s history.

Richie Tozier 

  • played by Finn Wolfhard as a child
  • played by Bill Hader as an adult (I so approve of this casting!)
Richie is the joker of the group, funny and foul-mouthed.  He and Bill have a huge fight after nearly getting killed at the Well House.  But they reconcile to save Beverly.
cast actors from It chapter 1 and 2
IT – Before and after.

Mike Hanlon 

  • played by Chosen Jacobs as a child
  • played by Isaiah Mustafa as an adult
Mike is the loyal friend.  He is bonded with the members of The Losers Club for life.  He is also the one member who never left Derry.  (We learn this in the previews.) Mike joins the club when the others defend him from Henry and his gang.

Eddie Kaspbrak

  • played by Jack Dylan Grazer as a child
  • played by James Ransone as an adult
Eddie is the hypochondriac of the group.  He is reluctant to go into the sewers.  His arm gets broken during an encounter with Pennywise.  Eddie eventually stands up to both his controlling mother and to Pennywise.
iy chapter 1 and 2 actors
Did you know Coulrophobia means fear of clowns? I bet they do. 

Stanley Uris 

  • played by Wyatt Oleff as a child
  • played by Andy Bean as an adult
Stan is the voice of reason.  He is often the most cautious, reluctant to go in the sewers, and opting to stand guard outside the creepy house rather than go inside.
It pennywise the clown
Pennywise CAN SEE YOU. OMG. F#cking clowns.

IT Chapter 2 will be here soon!

Pennywise is coming, but you won’t have to float if you have the RunPee app.  Don’t miss the best parts of IT: Chapter 2 or any of your other favorites.  We always have Peetimes for the latest Hollywood hits, including Ready or Not (an underrated gem!) and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.

You can also keep up with the latest movie news and reviews by following us on Twitter @RunPee and liking us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/RunPee/

All the Problems with the Movie It

Movie Review – It

Movie Review – Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark – Urban Legends (that might be true)

Movie Review – The Matrix

 

Movie Review - The MatrixAfter reading RunPee Dan’s amazing retrospective on “The Matrix After 20 Years“, I’m a little intimidated to try and pen my own review. He’s RunPee’s resident Matrix EXPERT. And I don’t say that lightly. Uber. Fan.

I especially get nervous trying to do justice to classic A+ level films. But I do have a few things to say, and here we go…

I’m packing for a move and might add more later. Suffice to say: this movie was a total mind-f#ck when it came out in 1999…and still is. The only really dated aspects are the corded phones and noisy modem (if you’re old enough, you KNOW this sound and it’s still as jarring as it was back then).

If you’re seeing The Matrix for the first time, remember this was the first film to attempt anything like this. At all. It’s a game changer that subsequent dystopian sci-fi films emulated to varying degrees over the years. “Inception“, for one, got it right. And then quite a few missed the boat more or less, like “Looper” which is a decent movie itself, but doesn’t come close to The Matrix.

(Funnily enough, both Inception and Looper featured one of the the same actors).

Why The Matrix is Still so Good

The difference is STYLE. And terrific direction, color palette, intelligent writing, and actors who couldn’t be better suited — both in the casting department, with each actor going balls to the wall in to the new world they had to sell.

Keanu even gets to say “Whoa,” and it doesn’t seem like fan pandering. It IS a WHOA moment.

the-matrix-bullet-time-keanu-reeves
Bring it.

Not to mention The Matrix sports a fabulous soundtrack, and effects that hold up extremely well. I just rewatched this yesterday to get Peetimes, since The Matrix is enjoying a theater revival. It’s still spectacular in look, feel, and story.

(Little realized fact: Most of the effects were done realistically with real actors in wires, and the 360 degree use of physical cameras to create the “Bullet Time” effect we take for granted now. I’m a huge fan of truly realistic physical effects in a modern age of CGI Everything.)

the-matrix-trinit-carry-anne-moss
Practical effects shot on wires. Trinity can still kick your butt.

This is how to make a movie. I can only hope the Watchoskis are up to the 2020 fourquel after all this time. Some crucial threads are left unresolved, so I’m fine with bringing the original cast back, dead or alive. (In Sci-Fi, death is relative.)

Deeper than The Usual Sci-Fi Flick

I’m not even going to handle the intense philosophies presented in the Matrix Trilogy — Philosophy professors wrote many books and teach actual courses just on this.

Enough for now. This will get you started. Also, if you hurry, this will be your only time to catch The Matrix on the big screen after two decades, so go get on it. Our three good Peetimes on the RunPee app will help you remember what scenes NOT to miss.

Free. Your. Mind.

Grade: A+

About The Peetimes: We just noticed The Matrix was released on a limited basis, so we added Peetimes now. Keep in mind this is a seriously intense mind-bending movie that you have to pay close attention to. All 3 Peetimes are really good. The last time to go is at 1 hour into the 2 hour film, so make sure to empty your bladder proactively, especially if this is your 1st time watching the film. (Or if it’s been a while.) #TheMatrixHasYou

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of The Matrix. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for sci-fi violence and brief language
Genres: Action, Sci-Fi, Dystopia

The Matrix After 20 Years – A Retrospective: A Different Kind of Hero, a New Kind of Science Fiction

Analysis of Inception

Movie Review – Looper

 

Movie Review – Angel Has Fallen

Movie Review - Angel Has FallenI did the Peetimes and reviews for the previous two movies in this series. (And by the way, you don’t need to see or remember the other movies to appreciate this one. It stands on its own pretty well.)

I checked the archives and I gave the first movie Olympus Has Fallen a B+ and the second London Has Fallen a B-. Two very respectable grades for this genre. My memory of the movies is a little vague. I remember the plots, but I only saw them once so I don’t remember the details.

This movie deserves at least a B+. I’m tempted to bump it up in the “A” range, but the villain is a little shaky.

What I liked most about this movie, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, is Nick Nolte’s performance. Let’s just say I’d give Nick an A+ and the rest of the movie a B. Nick doesn’t have a large role, but what he has he owns with some heart tearing monologs.

I have an odd comment about another part of the movie. There’s a scene with Banning driving a semi truck, pulling a trailer, over a curvy two lane road while being chased by police. (This is actually the Recommended Peetime.) What’s odd about it: during the movie I fully expected some wildly fantastic action where Banning would evade the police. That “Hollywood” action that is fantastic, but totally unrealistic. But that’s not what they did. They kept it simple and believable.

Overall, that’s what each of the movies in this series has: a mature script that feels real enough to cover up the unrealistic premise.

Grade: B+

About The Peetimes: I don’t know how you feel about chase scenes, but personally I would highly recommend the 2nd Peetime. It’s one very long chase scene, no dialog, and hardly any action. The tension really builds during the last Peetime. Only use it as an Emergency.

There are extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of Angel Has Fallen. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (R) for violence and language throughout
Genres: Action

Movie Review – London Has Fallen

Movie Review – Olympus Has Fallen

All the Problems with the Movie “It”

pennywise clown from it
Not a happy clown. Or a sad clown, either. Just a homicidal jerk clown.

With It Chapter 2 coming out September 6th I decided to rewatch the first chapter. But I never like doing regular reviews, so instead of singing this movie’s praises, how about we take a look at the flaws? Now to preface this, I say you should absolutely watch It Chapter 1 since it is a great horror film and just a great film in general.

But you can’t love something truly until you understand and accepts its faults….at least that’s what I’ve been told.

With that said, let’s start with a small point that drives me up a wall every time I watch this movie: the bullies.

It — Bullies

More specifically, how they’re introduced. When the camera pans to them, we see Patrick (the tall scrawny dark haired bully) first, and he waves to the boys walking down the hall. This gives the impression that he is the big bad bully, especially considering you can see Henry (the actual big bad bully) just sitting there. It’s not that big of a deal, but whenever I watch this movie I can’t help but initially think Patrick is the villain, when I know he isn’t. 

cast it the movie it chapter one
In for a world of hurt.

It  — Character Development

Next I want to talk about character development. These characters are so defined and well done you know about their house life, their own struggles, and what scares them the most. But two characters don’t really get this treatment. Those two are Stanley and Mike. If you know the story of It, then you can probably figure out why Stanley isn’t so developed. And I can’t say why, because then we get into spoiler territory, and I want to avoid that.

Either way though, Stanley shouldn’t be pushed to the side just because of his arc. 

And then we have Mike, who once again I kind of understand why isn’t as developed as the others — considering more of his development will happen in Chapter 2. Mike is nowhere near as bad as Stanley, though.

But Mike also has a weird entrance into the loser club. Mike is being pummeled by Henry and his gang when the rest of the loser club shows up to help him.

While it is an inspiring moment of them standing up for someone they barely know, it is just one out of three (I think) moments that feel tonally out of place. 

It — Tonal Whiplash

And speaking of tonally out of place, let’s talk about the scene that has the kids cleaning a bathroom. This scene has the 80’s montage of bonding all over it with the music, the way its edited, and the fact that it really doesn’t belong in that tone.

The time, leading up to that scene we were in that classic horror movie tone, where it’s unsettling and creepy — and then in the middle of that we have The Cure playing, while the kids clean a bathroom. It feels like it supposed to be a comic relief scene that’s not necessary, since you have a comic relief character constantly cracking jokes. Of course, the scene still does have a purpose of irony, but your average movie-goer isn’t going to spot that on a first watch.

It — The Stutter

Alright, let’s go back to some minor things like Bills’ stutter.

If I remember correctly, in the book Bill got his stutter after Georgie died due to a form of trauma, but in the movie Bill has it before Georgie even dies. Now it’s a small thing, but it still makes much more sense that he developed the stutter after the extreme trauma of his brother dying.

This is even reflected at the end of the movie, with Pennywise stuttering in fear of the kids. 

pennywise chapter one it
Ewww. Okay. Just no.

Minor Nits to Pick With It

And the last point I want to make is that this movie feels like it abuses the Dutch angle. This is something very small, but it stuck out to me how much they used it. If you don’t know: the Dutch angle is when you have the camera at a 45 degree angle, giving the shot a eerie feeling. Obviously this is something no one will really notice, but it stuck out to me and I couldn’t help but mention it. 

Now there are plenty of other tiny little things here and there I could mention, but that just more nitpicking. I think I already feel we’re well into that category.

It is truly a great horror film, and possibly the best Stephen King adaptation yet. I can’t recommend enough that you should watch this and the sequel.

 Pennywise is coming back, but is he coming in full force? 

#Itchapter2 #Pennywise #YoullFloatToo

Who is Who in IT – Chapter 2

Movie Review – It (Chapter 1)

First View Movie Review – Jaws 2

jaws 2 chief brody
He always gets his man. Or fish. Whatever: Brody is still cool.

There really isn’t much to say about Jaws 2, from which I expected a little bit more, being the only other “Jaws” film said to be worth watching. I got the chance to finally catch it last night. (RunPee is on a bit of a Shark Movie Binge.)

The original Jaws gets an A+ for brilliance, originality, fabulous chemistry,  deft writing…and serves as an early primer on how to construct a blockbuster around a solid narrative.

Jaws 2 is…not good. But it’s not complete trash, either. I’d give Jaws 2 a C+, which is a tad higher than average, but not by much. I can’t imagine how bad the sequel’s sequels are, and probably won’t bother with them. There’s so many better shark movies to watch, and I haven’t even tapped the campiness that is Sharknado yet.

I won’t belabor this. Jaws 2 had some good follow-up to Jaws, and also some glaring holes…and one big huge unforgivable sin. I’ll get to that in a moment.

What follows are spoilers for Jaws 2, even though you can probably guess how things go down. 

The Good Stuff in Jaws 2

  • The lookout tower. That’s some good continuity. It makes sense Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) would build such a structure and see it manned as a shark lookout. (I wish the stupid mayor would have framed it as a bonus for the visitors..increasing safety, etc, instead of the retread plot about tourism suffering.)
  • Chief Brody had PTSD. They never actually say it, but it’s very clear and present. As it should be with his background. Brody started Jaws 1 with a fear of the water, and seems to have processed that, at least.  But now Brody has to step up again, full of bad shark baggage, and even says to the mayor (and the mayor’s associated jerks) that HE CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN.

And he steps up anyway, still in need of a ‘bigger boat’.

That, my friends, is continuity.

More Good Stuff

  • Having the kids’ boats raft up made logical sense. That’s what would happen in real life, and I was pleased to see boaters being sensible in a dangerous situation. (I used to be a boat guide, for like, ten years. So kudos there.)
  • Cable Junction made for  a novel setting. I wanted to see a final showdown with everyone waiting for rescue on that lump of rock. I didn’t get that, but the idea using the “cable” worked for me, even though everyone in the water should have fried too.

UPDATE: I am reliably told by a scientist that the kids would not have been electrocuted, but that Brody, holding the cable, should have been at least hurt. He wrote: “As for the hypothesis that all in the water ought have died by electrocution, I disagree. The shark was the only path between high voltage (cable) and ground (water & earth), so it had to fry. Past that narrow conductor, the current spreads 3-dimensionally through water and earth, losing intensity extremely fast with distance from the origin, and flowing around high-resistance paths such as living creatures.”

  • Yup, Brody is still bad-ass. I hope he moves off the island to a flyover state without sharks. He can worry about tornadoes or earthquakes, but will be safe from insane predator fish.

Since I won’t bother watching Jaws 3 or 4 or 15, someone tell me what happens next. (Comment section is below!)

jaws-2-beach
Duh duh. Duh Duh. Dun Dun dun dun DUNDUNDUNDUN….you know how it goes.

The Stupid Stuff

  • No characterization happens. I don’t remember anyone’s names except Brody’s and maybe his kiddos. One is Michael, right? Who was the wife? The Mayor? His lackies? It’s not like we cared — they were, as Drax The Destroyer once said, ‘paper people.’
  • No direct reference at all to how Brody saved Amity Island a mere two years ago? He should be a local hero. Not dismissed as a lunatic seeing sharks on every beach, who then gets fired for doing his damn job.
  • It would have been nice to see even a throwaway line about Richard Dryfuss’s character Matt Hooper, and how useful he’d be if he wasn’t off at Greenpeace (or something – I’m easy).
  • Those teens were fungible: I didn’t care who lived or died. I liked the child and his brother (Brody’s kids) because they had actual plot development. But the rest were just…there. As bait.

This is bad script writing. See a movie like Aliens to learn how to make the audience care about everyone in very spare narrative. (For example: you know the relatively minor characters Frost, Vasquez, Bishop, Drake, Hicks, Hudson, Apone, Gorman, and Dietrich, right? Do you know even one of names of the chum teens?

  • The shark looked ridiculous in every scene, both under the water and above, like some floppy rubber…thing. For comparison, the only time Jaws looked silly in the original film was when he attacked the Orca. By Jaws 2 in 1978, the production studio seemingly had no money left for decent effects. If they couldn’t afford to do this right, why bother? I’m guessing because they got Roy Scheider to reprise his role.

(Then they went on to make more Jaws movies with apparently less budget, and spawned an entire cash-cow movie sub-genre….so what do I know?)

The Really, Really Bad Thing in Jaws 2

Okay, W. T. F. ? This shark rams boats, chews metal gunnels, maws through wood beams, and drags a HELICOPTER underwater? Is this some evil nation’s  drone shark with AI implants?

This isn’t how animals behave. Sharks don’t eat boats or upend ships to make people fall overboard. They’re highly specialized predators, but don’t have sentience. Sharks are opportunists who will grab a leg or arm to see if they like it — but they aren’t planners, strategists, or remotely relentless about their prey. If it fights back, there’s plenty of other ‘fish in the sea.’

I allowed for Jaws in the original to attack the good ship Orca, mainly because the rest of the story was so good, and I was willing to accept that this particular Great White was…atypical.

In Jaws 2, the new Great White was just bananas. It was like Die Hard: Shark Edition. Seriously, biting the helicopter pontoons was where I gave up. There’s no reason that would EVER happen: monsters and animals are not the same thing. If they wanted to go nuts like this, then the sharks should have been invading aliens from Rigel 4, or something.

At least in Deep Blue Sea there were….reasons for the deliberate, concerted pack attack.

For reference, this was posted at the bottom credits of 47 Meters Down 2: Uncaged: 10 people die from sharks each year. Ten million sharks die from humans each year.

#MikeDrop

Conclusion: If you loved Jaws (and who doesn’t?), Jaws 2 is an average tier shark follow-up to Brody’s narrative.

Movie Grade: C+

Better Shark Movies, reviewed on RunPee (Except for 47MD Uncaged, which is just dreck…): 

Movie Rewatch – Jaws – Still A Fantastic Blockbuster

The Shallows – First View Movie Review (2016)

Movie Review – The Meg

Deep Blue Sea – First View Movie Review (With YouTube Clips)

First-View Movie Review – 47 Meters Down (2017)

Movie Review – 47 Meters Down: Uncaged

Newie Review – The Reef – Low Budget, Decent, Non Campy Shark Movie

Movie Review – Bethany Hamilton: Unstoppable

Meet the Real Megalodon

Best Non-Jaws Shark Gems

Movie Review – The Angry Birds Movie 2

Movie Review - The Angry Birds Movie 2I’m not sure just who’s the target audience here. The kiddies will love the action and slap stick humor, sorta like the Looney Tunes cartoons of long ago, but that stuff never gets old. Does it?

The adults who became addicted to this mindless little app will also flock (pun intended) to AB2. There’s plenty of ‘adult humor’ to keep them laughing.

Taking the kiddies to see Angry Birds 2 will be a nice treat for making it through the first day back at school.

Grade: B

About The Peetimes: Just a heads up; at my theater a short animated clip was shown before the actual movie. The clip lasts approximately 4 minutes.

There are no extra scenes during, or after, the end credits of The Angry Birds Movie 2. (What we mean by Anything Extra.)

Rated (PG) for rude humor and action
Genres: Adventure, Animation, Comedy